Improve Relationships by Only Checking Your Phone Alone
It’s easy to become addicted to your smartphone and completely ignore the world around you. We all do this to one degree or another. But what would our relationship be like if we put down the phone and started paying attention to people?
Muse’s Aja Frost explores this idea. She spotted a colleague who vowed to use, check, and even look at his phone only when he was alone. Frost says his conversations with others were noticeably more engaging. I decided to try it myself:
I didn’t tell anyone about the ban on the phone, and no one said anything. However, whether they consciously noticed or not, it seemed that people were actually reacting. They could say that they got my undivided attention – not only did I not do the semi-dry nods-half-scrolling, but I did not even think about checking my phone. My listening skills were off the charts.
As a result, people were much more involved. When we discussed something lighthearted, they smiled and laughed more. When we talked about something serious, they were more honest and thoughtful. I even noticed that people began to talk to me more often. Instead of just saying, “How are you?” Passing me in the lobby, they stopped and asked what project I was working on or what my plans for the weekend were. Conclusion: by removing the phone, people will feel that they are appreciated and respected.
Of course, this is anecdotal evidence, but research confirms Frost’s experience. It also makes sense. It’s almost impossible to feel involved in a conversation when the other person is constantly looking down to check their phone.
You may worry about neglecting text or email when you are in person with someone. In the end, ignoring someone’s text can also negatively affect this relationship. But there are many workarounds for this.
For example, if someone is waiting for a response from you, Frost offers to send them a message to inform them that you will be unavailable for a while. Plus, if you tell everyone that you are in the habit of turning off the phone when you meet people, chances are they will know they shouldn’t expect an immediate response. And people tend to understand if you don’t answer right away anyway. Obviously, this may not be true if you have a job that requires you to be on constant duty.
But if you don’t need to be connected to your phone all the time, you might want to consider turning it off and engaging in a little more face-to-face interactions. You may be surprised at the difference this makes.
A Shockingly Simple Change That Can Improve All Your Relationships | Muse