A Guide to Child Culture for Out-of-Touch Adults: Who Shed Light on Lil Nas X?
As we hobble through what will undoubtedly be the hottest summer in human history (until next year), let’s think for a moment about what kids do: learn about beer tanning; #Barbiefoot; and a diet of sausage, mustard, and cottage cheese could offer a welcome diversion from the planet’s ongoing oppressive heat death.
The alarming trend of the summer: throwing things at pop stars
When it comes to youth trends, I try to celebrate rather than criticize, but this is ugly: more and more fans are throwing things at singers during their performance. In June, singer-songwriter Bebe Rexha caught a cell phone in the eye of a fan, who later told police, “I was trying to see if I could hit her with my phone at the end of the show because that would be funny.” Rex needs stitches. Drake was luckier – his “fan” just hit him on the arm with a phone , and he was fine. Ava Max was attacked by a dude who ran onto the stage and punched her in the face . Harry Styles hit the skittles . Country singer Kelsey Ballerini was hit in the face with a bracelet . Someone threw a Fleshlight at Lil Nas X , and while his response (“Who threw their pussy on stage?”) was hilarious, the attack attempt was not.
Oh, and someone also threw their mom’s ashes at Pink.
Things have gotten so bad that Adele weighs her mind. “Have you noticed how people, like, forget fucking show etiquette in America?” she asked the Vegas crowd last night . “Dare you throw something at me,” she added.
Some write off the attacks as misogyny, but it seems to me that the distribution of the attacks by the performers is fairly even across gender (at least for now). This is nothing new, as anyone who’s ever been to a punk rock show has probably seen a performer get hit with sneakers or whatever, but it’s part of punk rock culture. It’s not part of the “famous pop star” culture. At least it wasn’t before.
TikTok summer dangers: boat jumping, beer tanning, roof jumping and more
In Part 4,249 of my 12,540-part Never Do What You See Online series, let’s take a look at some of the hottest new ways to hurt yourself and/or kill yourself this summer.
What is boat jumping?
Alabama authorities blame TikTok for four recent boating deaths. The victims were reportedly following the #boatjumping online trend. As the name suggests, the craze involves jumping from a boat moving at high speed. My research shows that boat jumping has been a popular summer activity since at least 2003, and while it can be done safely, you can also hurt yourself (in this case, the people who died broke their necks, authorities say). So don’t jump from the boats. In fact, jump from boats; it’s amazing. Just don’t do it in such a way that someone could get hurt or die.
What is brewing?
Unlike boat jumping, a beer tan is never cool. Some TikTok accounts recommend pouring beer on your skin to get a tan faster. It’s hard to tell if the original videos are serious, but according to people as dumb as Jason Goldberg , director of SpaSeekers.com, there’s “science” behind why beer can help us achieve the perfect tan. The hops in beer seem to “activate your melanin”. It’s a dubious theory, but scientific debate aside, dousing yourself with beer won’t protect you from sunburn, but it will attract bugs and make you smell like a dive bar on a Tuesday morning. Instead, dermatologists recommend a sunscreen with a high SPF.
What is a roof?
These trends are getting worse. Rooftoping involves climbing the walls of a building to get to the roof. It’s debatable whether this is a “trend” or not, but some risk takers are doing it and posting videos online. Other people fell to their deaths .
What is #Barbiefoot?
Luckily, you’re not likely to die from #Barbiefoot , the TikTok trend that mimics the trailer opening for Barbie while standing on tiptoe like an iconic doll. While not fatal, Barbiefoot’s attempt is not entirely safe. According to Dr. Jody R. Schoenhaus of the Foot, Ankle and Leg Vein Center in Florida, “If someone tries the pose once or twice, they will most likely be fine and make a great TikTok video.” , but if he does so for extended periods of time, it can lead to “sprains and injuries commonly seen when wearing high heels.” (It seems that being a Barbie means living in agony.)
What kind of chicken sausage, mustard and cottage cheese diet?
Lifehacker Senior Health Editor Beth Skwarecki recently talked about this weird diet , but ICYMI: @tiffanyymagee ‘s TikToker is blowing up because of her unusual eating habits. She says she has lost over 80 pounds by eating mostly chicken sausage, cottage cheese, mustard and vegetables. Her nutrition plan hit the ground running – Maga now has nearly a million followers. Although the diet is strange, nutritionists say that for the most part it is balanced and healthy. However, it lacks variety and would be hard to stick to, and the fact that it’s so on-trend screams a fad diet. Diets like “try one cool trick to lose weight” may “work,” but they are rarely sustainable, and the concept of a diet is problematic . Plus, chicken, raw vegetables, and cottage cheese are pretty much a 1976 “diet plate.” The only thing missing is the Tab jar.
Viral Video of the Week: “IShowSpeed - Portuginies (Official Music Video) {Prod. DJ scheme}”
The “reproaches” from the game streamer turned IShowSpeed ubiquitous online star are bewildering. The video for the song Speed is definitely going viral, but it’s hard to see why. It’s an unbearable, terrible song with a regular video. Why are you talking about Portugal? But commentators seem to be so into it that three million people have watched it in one day. I thought I must have missed something, so I asked my son to translate. He found this video funny.
“It’s a joke. It shouldn’t be taken seriously,” he explained, “IShowSpeed parodies online culture.” According to him, comments on the video (such as “THIS IS WE CHOOSE FROM FAVELA” and “Right now iShowSpeed makes BETTER MUSIC!”) are part of the joke. “You can tell by the number of fire emojis,” my child explained, “if there are more than two, it means, ‘I’m kidding.’
So, as far as I can tell, “Portuginies” is a deadpan version of the usual “online music video”. You and I don’t get it because we’re not familiar with the pop culture details she makes fun of. This is one of those post-ronic phrases like “if you don’t understand, the joke is on you” that I liked when I understood them.