What People Are Doing Wrong This Week: Cocaine in the White House

This week, intelligence agencies found a small bag of cocaine in the White House . It’s a big deal – any mystery powder found around the president will be him, and if the Biden administration is a covert coked bacchanalia and not a bunch of centre-left technocrats, we all have a right to be alarmed or impressed. . But the details surrounding the Biden strike may point to a much more mundane situation.

Right now, we are in this borderline space between the initial reports of “drugs found in the White House” and the specific details of the police investigation, so the information vacuum is inspiring bizarre conclusions for all those with political goals. Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, YouTube, and perhaps MySpace are filled with wild speculation and outright lies about the situation, as well as “obviously it doesn’t matter much” claims. None of them are correct because we just don’t know.

Cocaine was not found in the private area of ​​the White House

Initial reports that the drugs were found in the White House Library were later returned by the Secret Service. According to The Man, the bag of drugs was not found in the private area of ​​the White House or in the living quarters of anyone named “Biden.”

According to a Secret Service spokesman, the drugs were found in the West Wing, “near the entrance, where visitors on tour must leave their phones.” some donut who visited the White House instead of a member of our government. (Members of our government would never use drugs.)

Cocaine belonged to Joe Biden?

We don’t really know whose cocaine it was. The Secret Service is not ruling out any employees, guests, or visitors to the White House, but Diamond Joe seems like an unlikely culprit. He’s a bit old for cocaine, and anyway the first family was at Camp David on July 4th weekend and the drugs were found Sunday night. According to former White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, it is “incredible” that cocaine could be in the White House for more than 72 hours without being detected. Even when he’s at home, I doubt the President is very often in the tourist area of ​​the West Wing of the White House (unless he wanders there).

Cocaine belonged to Hunter Biden?

While the president’s son has a well-documented history of addiction problems, so do many people. We can’t rule him out or anyone else until the official investigation is complete, but Hunter wasn’t at the White House over the weekend either.

Did a White House employee leave cocaine?

These people work long hours… but we don’t know. White House employees are also being drug tested – this is not proof of anything, but it does not indicate an employee.

Tourist left cocaine in the west wing?

According to CBS News, the leading theory among high-ranking law enforcement officials is that the drugs came from “a man who visited the West Wing of the White House,” and I trust this idea much more than the opinions of online pranksters.

We’ll find out soon enough: Visitor logs and camera footage are being scrutinized by the authorities, so if you’re wondering where that bag of blowjobs you planned to sniff after your West Wing tour is, I’d be getting ready for a visit from some very serious men in suits in the coming weeks. .

And what if “officials from the White House” are lying?

Whether White House or Secret Service officials are hiding a drug problem in the Biden administration is impossible to tell. They can be; understatement, spin-off and outright lies are what people do when they get caught. But on the other hand, maybe it was planted by a political opponent of the Bidens? Maybe this is all a setup, the beginning of “dirty frauds” before the 2024 presidential election? There is no shortage of examples of even worse things. And therein lies the problem with political scandals: you can believe anything as long as you ignore the official explanation and use your imagination.

Bottom line: we don’t know (but the most boring explanation is probably the right one)

In any political scandal, we instinctively jump to conclusions based on our preconceptions. To me (and the cops who do it), the most logical explanation for cocaine is “some jackass dropped a bag of drugs on the White House tour,” but someone else might say, “That’s clearly Hunter Biden!”

Right now, neither side is right, and while the “tourist dropped it” explanation is the most logical, it’s far from confirmed, and unexpected things happen all the time.

It’s easy to feel complacent about the crap the “other side” believes, but imagine how Twitter would react if cocaine were found in the White House during the Trump administration. It would be just as unbearable, but I would still secretly think, “Hmm, maybe it was Don Jr.” Instead of “Joe Biden would never do that! He’s too old and friendly! In fact, the coin is still in the air. Until it comes up heads or tails, it’s best to keep an open mind.