8 Signs Your Child Is Lacking Attention
It always seems to happen at the most inopportune moment: our children start playing pranks as soon as the situation gets tense or busy. And because we’re so busy with our careers, cooking dinner, or just trying to unwind or unwind after a hard day, we lose sight of the reason for such misbehavior: their need for our full attention.
When we refuse our child’s desire to participate, they share their feelings about our refusal in a way that they will be seen and heard. To help you understand when your kids need you to focus on them for a few minutes, there are a few behaviors to look out for.
They get bold and confrontational
This is perhaps the easiest behavior to detect, as it includes tossing toys and daredevil behavior clearly meant to make you pay attention to them. But before your little Evel Knievel breaks his arm from the next couch jump, set aside 10-20 minutes for one-on-one communication.
Movement in slow motion
Children have no concept of time, and any parent who has tried to dress their children for school will tell you that. Getting them ready for bed isn’t a picnic either, which can increase their stress levels (and yours) when they should be calming down. Their ignorance of how minutes and seconds work allows kids to control the clock so they can spend more time with you. I combated this behavior by turning this time into a game, and the reward was more screen time or more time to read. I’ve always been amazed at how fast they move when given the right motivation.
They want to pull all night
This was a daily recurrence in our house: after we put our boys to bed and started the decompression, our youngest should use the potty five minutes after he had just left. This is followed by a request for hugs after he has washed his hands. We’ve found a solution to this – extra social time before bed, or a guided meditation led by one of us to help them relax (and give them the attention they crave).
Deliberately interrupting you
Dinner discussions can be fun in our house. But when my wife and I turn our attention to each other, one of my sons suddenly wants to tell us a joke, effectively ending our conversation. One way to combat this behavior is to give him a few extra minutes and get him to talk about his school day , which led to some great conversations.
“I need help!”
When kids want to spend more time with you, their minds tend to go blank, causing them to suddenly forget how to dress, brush their teeth, and do other simple tasks they’ve been doing alone for months. To boost their memory, praise them throughout the day for acting independently, giving them the attention they need and helping them develop their independent behavior.
tell tall tales
My youngest child is a real storyteller. Sometimes he comes up with elaborate stories about his day. The good news is that storytelling is part of normal child development. They are also unaware of the consequences of lying, because at a young age it is difficult to distinguish between reality and imagination. They want to please you. Don’t try to catch them lying, but instead try to find out how they feel.
Getting dramatic
Preparing my sons for swimming lessons can sometimes turn into a Tony-nominated play filled with emotional performances. If it is difficult for them to put on swimming trunks, the plumbing starts. I have found that when I reassure them that I care about them and work hard to solve their problem, it usually helps stop the tears. Also, if I ask them what they want to work on during the lesson, it will show that I am interested in their lives and care about their goals.
“I hate you!”
You will most likely hear this phrase a lot during your parenting career. Children say mean things to get your attention and piss you off, so it’s important not to overreact. Fight it by showing how much you care about your kids with a hug, a note in their lunch box, or starting the day with a positive word or two.