A Neuroscientist Says How to Stop Shitty Text From Ruining Your Day
We all have that moment where you work hard, get absorbed in what you are doing, only to look at your phone and see the upsetting text. Maybe it’s from someone with whom you have a difficult relationship, or it’s general bad news, or a family crisis that you can’t do anything about. When this happens, what can you do to prevent this text from ruining your day?
Our brains are not good at multitasking.
“The only thing our brains can’t handle is multitasking,” said Dr. Jude Brewer , MD, executive medical director for behavioral health at Sharecare and faculty member at Brown University. “When we do something and see an unpleasant text, we can start thinking about it. If we try to go back to what we did initially, but keep thinking about the text, our brain will have to switch tasks over and over again. “
This can be very distracting, leading to a situation where you are not only frustrated with the text, but also unable to do your job properly. “The working memory of our brain can only store a few pieces of information at a time,” Brewer said. “Think of it as a computer with limited RAM. As soon as this RAM fills up, the computer slows down. “
How to bring your attention back to the current task
If you are trying to focus on your work but keep thinking about this text, it is important to acknowledge that there is nothing you can do about it at this particular moment. “Just name it and say,“ Oh, I can’t do anything about it right now, ”Brewer suggested. “Let it settle so our brains really hear it.” As he points out, this is not a case when we try to fool ourselves into not thinking about an unpleasant text, but rather an admission of the fact: right now there is nothing you can do.
“The other part is to ask yourself, ‘What do I get from being stuck in this text? “Brewer said. “We can say, ‘Wait a minute. I’m all excited. There is nothing I can do about it right now, and it takes me away from what I am doing. It wastes all my energy and changes my mood for the worse. “
How to reduce stress
Returning focus to work is always easier said than done. Another technique that Brewer suggests to reduce stress is to think about how we feel about it. To do this, Brewer suggests using mindfulness techniques.
As Amishi Jha, Ph.D. , neuroscientist and author ofPeak Mind , recently told MindbodyGreen , “The mindfulness approach is to first acknowledge and allow the emotional response you have when you receive a text message.”
“We can use mindfulness practices to objectively notice ‘this is a text someone sent in,’ versus identifying with a thought, for example, ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me,’” Brewer said. “Mindfulness can help us think differently about it by drawing curiosity. We ask ourselves with genuine curiosity about the intent behind the text, or wonder if we can jump to conclusions. “
You cannot avoid receiving an offensive text message, nor can you avoid an emotional reaction to it. It’s just part of being human. However, by practicing mindfulness — in this case, acknowledging your emotional response and taking some time to reflect on your feelings — you can avoid this text ruining the rest of your day.