When to Say Thank You Instead of Sorry
A correct and effective apology is an imprecise art. Any apology that’s really enough will show both why you’re sorry and that you understand how your potential wrongdoing might have affected other people.
But sometimes an apology doesn’t work. The injured party may think that your fault was only to calm them down or to smooth things over after the rocky area for the sake of convenience. If you feel like your apology is lacking water for any reason, you can take a different, somewhat unorthodox approach: say thank you instead.
Basically, an apology is an admission of guilt, which at least involves a willingness to grow and learn from a mistake. Saying “thank you” has a similar, albeit more direct effect, instead of the traditional apology, as it indicates that you have already learned from your mistake – or at least you are trying to do so.
Thank you is a learning experience.
There are books on how to carefully prepare an apology , but expressing gratitude is a much more direct gesture. Expressing gratitude flatters the offended rather than emphasizing your wrongdoing.
For example, if you tend to have a casual conversation with someone and they upset you, you might want to thank them for bringing the issue to your attention. Instead of apologizing in one word, you let them know that you value understanding how your behavior upsets them.
To say thank you or to say that you value a highlighted issue is very enthusiastic about being comfortable with the criticism. This leaves no doubt that you are still reigniting the fight in your head when it is theoretically resolved because you have shown that you are not bitter at all.
It helps build the other person’s trust in you.
If you truly regret something, you at least want the other party to believe in your ability to fix the problem. Replacing the apology with a courtesy will help you with this. In a 2019 study published in the Journal of Marketing , researchers found dynamics to perform quite flawlessly in retail. In the study, consumers felt better when retailers thanked them for pointing out mistakes rather than apologizing.
Admitting guilt can make you feel more powerful than meek. He suggests, “Hey, I can see it, and I will work on it because it is completely in my control.”
It distracts attention from you.
It’s not that you should avoid being accused of hypocritical purposes. After all, it is assumed that you did something wrong. But by saying thank you, in turn, you are giving the other side the responsibility of being merciful, because that is what you are doing despite being criticized.
After all, reaching a solution requires the cooperation of two parties. By saying thank you, you will immediately return the ball to the other person’s court, showing that you understand why they are upset and will work to do better in the future.