I Turned Garth Brooks Breakfast Bowl Into a Casserole and Will Do It Again
Some life-changing events are preserved in great detail, such as insects caught in amber; some so carefully work their way into your consciousness that you will never know for sure what life was like before. I couldn’t tell where I was when I first found out about the Bowl Garth breakfast, but I know I thought about it about once a week for what feels like my whole life.
If this is your first time reading the words “Garth’s Breakfast Bowl,” the details will either improve or ruin your day, depending on your attitude toward carbs and pork. These are bacon, eggs, cheese, sausage, fries and tortellini stacked on top of each other in a large bowl, like a parfait. Legend has it that Garth Brooks loves breakfast the most in the world of solo artist and alter ego Chris Gaines. I’m obsessed with this.
I highly recommend spending 4 minutes and 11 seconds on Friday afternoon to watch Tricia Yerwood and her daughter prepare The Chalice ; it is an experience that you will not soon forget. In the video, when she drops the garlic and cheese tortellini in boiling water, Trisha very dryly states that “[this]” – that is, the garlic and cheese tortellini in particular – “is what Garth demands.” I watched it dozens of times, and each time I watched it inspired new questions. How did Garth Brooks need the garlic and cheese tortellini in his breakfast bowls? (I have nothing but respect for this; breakfast pasta is a legitimate life choice . I’m just curious.) Where does the Bowl’s namesake come from? Why not service the components separately? And since I really don’t know what’s good for me – where the hell is the gravy?
This last question, the newest and most perverted one, has put me on a dangerous path. I figured the only thing better than a pile of meat and carbs for breakfast was that same pile topped with sausage gravy . I soon came up with a cross between my cousins’ sausage and canned cookie casserole and the Yeerwood Brooks Ritual Breakfast Pile, but with gravy. The world does not need this; I did it anyway and refuse to apologize.
It should come as no surprise that Garth’s Breakfast CasserBowl is very, very good. Canned biscuits and sausage gravy tie the scattered pieces together into what looks like a badly spoiled deep dish breakfast pie. This rich, cheesy, ubiquitous carb buffet is exactly what you need to get through the worst hangover season of the year. And, in keeping with the spirit of the original, they are very easy to assemble.
If you decide to inflict this offense on God, man and everything good in this world, you will need:
- 1 pound bacon
- 1 pound pork sausage for breakfast
- 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
- 3 cups whole milk
- 1 can of chilled cookies
- 10-12 ounces pre-shredded cheddar cheese (or more – not too much cheese, I would say)
- 10-12 ounces garlic and cheese tortellini, thawed if frozen (you can use a different flavoring, but Garth will be upset)
- 10 eggs
- 1-1 1/2 lb. frozen potato cards
- Salt and pepper for flavor
Cook the bacon until crispy using your favorite method. I put mine on a wire rack inside a baking sheet lined with foil and baked it for about 30-40 minutes at 375 ° F. You won’t need any extra grease here, so drain off the fat as it builds up, leaving it for other use if you like.
Then prepare the gravy. Saute the sausage over medium heat in the largest and deepest heat-resistant skillet until crispy, about 8-10 minutes. Take out one large slotted spoon and set aside for dusting. Add flour to skillet and stir for a minute, then add milk gradually. Simmer for five minutes, until smooth and thick; Season with salt and pepper to taste. Pour the gravy into a separate bowl, leaving a thin layer at the bottom of the skillet.
When the bacon and gravy are ready, it’s time to build. Take half a canned cookie and tear into small pieces. Place them in the bottom of the gravy pan.
Chop all but a handful of bacon on top, then sprinkle with half of the cheese. Add half of the gravy here. Spread the tortellini evenly over the first layer of gravy, then drizzle with the remaining gravy. Add more cheese, leaving a handful or two for the filling.
If desired, tear the remaining cookies into strips and press them into the skillet. (This will make the casserole harder, like a pie; skip it if you prefer the breakfast heaps to be sticky.) Beat the eggs with a little milk and more salt and pepper, then pour into the skillet. Press a piece of parchment against the surface of the casserole and wrap tightly with foil.
Bake the lidded casserole on a baking sheet for 35-40 minutes at 350ºF, then remove the parchment and foil and spread the potato cakes over the side of the casserole. Increase temperature to 425ºF. Top with the remaining cheese, bacon and sausage, return the pan to the baking sheet and bake for another 15-20 minutes, until the potatoes are golden brown and the casserole is hot.
Refrigerate for about 10 minutes if you can. Serve in slices or spoons with more hot sauce and possibly more cheese. Now is not the time for restraint.