Do This Instead of Apologizing All the Time.
On an average day, I probably say “sorry” to at least twenty people. I’m sorry that I decided to go down this staircase at the same time as you, I’m sorry that you forgot to email me and now this report is late, I’m sorry that one more thing has happened that is completely beyond my control, and now the plans are have changed.
Apologizing is generally a pleasant thing to do. Recently, there has been a movement urging people, especially women, to stop apologizing so much. While I agree that women in general tend to apologize more than they should, I don’t think we need to get rid of it entirely. Sometimes “sorry” is appropriate, other times it’s better to say something slightly different.
The Fast Company posted a story this week that talks about over-apologizing about how it can undermine your credibility and confidence in a situation and ultimately undermine your credibility or present you as weak and indecisive, which you really are not. want to. Plus, when you consistently apologize, when something you should apologize for comes up, your audience will be so insensitive to all your other unnecessary apologies that it might seem insincere.
So what are you doing instead?
Fast Company has a number of suggestions on how to solve this problem. However, I prefer to briefly acknowledge the problem and then explain how you are going to fix it. For example, if you had to reschedule a meeting five times because key participants were unable to attend, that’s not your fault. No need to apologize here. Instead, try something like, “I know we had to reschedule this appointment. Thank you for going with the flow. “
There is no need to explain to everyone why the meeting was postponed. With this statement, you are probably projecting the same thought you are counting on by saying “sorry,” but you are doing it in a much more direct and authoritative way.
You don’t have to apologize for emotions or refuse. Instead, just explain what the problem is and offer a little follow-up.
The key is to take a closer look at the things you’re apologizing for and make sure they’re worth apologizing for. If something doesn’t really require an apology (some things definitely do!), Think about how you’re phrasing your response to the person. This can greatly affect your perception.