Should You Cut Bagels Like a Loaf of Bread?

In our latest episode of Hack or Wack, we take a look at this viral tweet from the St. Louis native:

In his tweet, Krautmann claims to have introduced his colleagues to this “St. Louis secret ”- order bagels cut into cross-sections like a loaf of bread .

Well. Maybe it should remain a secret.

If you are on the side of all that is good and true, you will notice that this method produces many irregularly sized slices, almost completely eliminates the attractiveness of the chewy outer crust of the bagel, and results in sad little crostini that could be cooked. from any bread.

Meanwhile, this “hacking” forgotten by the Almighty tore – or, I would say, cut – our office to pieces. Some (erroneous) Lifehacker staff members suggested the idea was not a nightmare hell of a landscape, noting that it allows for smaller, lighter portions that are quick to toast and easier to share.

But others have noted that smaller portions can lead to over-consumption. You can eat 12 bagels / crostini / atrocities before realizing that it is equivalent to two full bagels. (In the author’s humble opinion, I don’t know how anyone could have dumped even one of them if his body does not reject him out of pure principle.)

This is by far the worst option since the Cynthia Nixon cinnamon-raisin bagel scandal (which, I’m pretty sure, cost her her choices).

It’s also worth noting that the sad bagels in the photo are from Panera Bread , which add another annoying touch of irony to this story: the billionaire owners of Panera (as well as Einstein Bagels and Krispy Kreme) made the news recently when they were contacted. the company’s Nazi past.

Of course, no religion or group of people owns this delicacy, and people can do whatever they want with their baked goods. But as a New Yorker who attended high school with a daily lunch break called the bagel break, I find the concept offensive. The fact that it removes all the texture that makes the bagel attractive is offensive. The fact that he is from St. Louis is insulting. It is insulting that the bagels were ordered from Panera. The fact that the Panera employee said, “Do you want us to put bagels in the slicer? Oki Doki! “Offensive. It’s the equivalent of a spoonful of Temp Tee tossed in your face, egg cream poured over your head, and hot pastrami poured over linoleum.

This, my friends, is nonsense.

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