When Your Significant Partner Asks for a Free Rental
You have problems, I have advice. This tip does not contain powdered sugar – in fact, it does not contain sugar and can even be slightly bitter. Welcome to Tough Love .
This week we have a woman who let her partner live with her on a permanent basis for free, for three years, and she has had enough.
Mind you, I am not a therapist or any other healthcare professional, but just a guy who is willing to talk about it the way it is. I just want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn life. If for any reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here . So let’s get on with it.
Dear Patrick,
I’ve been dating a man for almost ten years. None of us wants to get married. Several years ago, he began to move gradually without discussing it. I mentioned that he needs to pay the rent, since he lives with me all the time. He objected, saying that he does not use as much electricity, gas, etc.
Three years have passed and there is still no lease. It hurts our sexual relationship because I’m mad at him for it. However, he is a sex fanatic and it hurts our relationship. He does everything I ask of him and takes me everywhere, but he does not understand how the issue of rent can affect me sexually. I’m ready to ask him to move out. What do you think?
Ready to let go
Hey ready to let go:
I say: pull the trigger and move this cheap stuff out. Obviously, you’re just looking for someone to agree with a decision you’ve already made in your head. I mean, you signed “Ready to Let Go” for crying out loud. If you’re so ready, just do it. Here is your “Certified 100% Unbiased Third Party Opinion”.
He stealthily entered without asking – not cool. He didn’t pay you rent, even after you asked him – not cool either. He worked there for three years and believes that he does not use enough electricity, gas and other utilities to warrant any payment – extremely stupid. I’m not sure which is funnier, the fact that he used such a contrived argument, or that you just agreed with him for so long. He uses you by ignoring your feelings and behaving disrespectfully; then they constantly ask you for sex. No wonder you resent him! Who wants to give up on such a mean little skinflint? I’m surprised he doesn’t ask you to pay him every time you give in.
Willing to let go, who cares if he does what you ask and if he takes your place? The housekeeper and Uber driver can meet these needs and will probably cost you less. There is a big excited rat in your house that eats all your food and crap on your love. Call an exterminator before he gets sick.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Does work upset you? Are you having problems with a friend or colleague? Is your love life going through rough times? Do you just feel lost in life, as if you have no direction? Tell me, maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INQUIRY TO OPEN . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.