How to Find Time for Yourself When Visiting Relatives
Even if you are not the type who usually needs a lot of “time for yourself,” family visits can be overwhelming. In a crowded home, you need specific strategies to spend some time alone, without withdrawing or showing interest in spending time with your family.
Volunteer for solo tasks
Some are fortunate enough to have relatives who do not perceive the direct: “I need to stay for a few minutes” as an insult or a sign that something is wrong. But if you need a long period of time to recharge or don’t want to draw attention to yourself with frequent breaks during the day, combine the time spent alone with rewarding activities. Here are some of the more common ones you could use:
- Walk the dog or help look after other pets (no one will try to talk to you when you take out the litter box).
- Run to the store to pick up the latest items. If you are in someone else’s house, set yourself up to be a helper here by telling them that you are happy to be their “emergency store salesman.”
- Decorate and arrange your table, living room, or other space.
- Do the dishes, take out the trash, clean up leftover food, and do whatever other people don’t want to do.
- Take a friend or family member and offer to drop them off later. This really means that you will be with someone in the car, but you will be getting there and back on your own.
- Do a favor or do your homework that is on the host’s to-do list. For example, fixing a technical problem mentioned or doing yard work such as shoveling leaves or trimming trees and bushes.
- Observe the children . Only do this if you really love children and know how to entertain them. If they have each other and a bunch of toys and games, chances are they will be busy playing and leave you alone (for the most part).
If you live in someone else’s house and he doesn’t have any of the above tasks you can help with, ask him what you can do. (You may need to convince a little that no, you really want to help. )
Find a quiet time
One constant way to know you’ll have time for yourself is to include it in your schedule. Look for times when everyone else is busy and plan to make time for yourself.
- Get up early . Be an early riser and enjoy a quiet morning before everyone arrives for breakfast.
- Stay up late . If you can handle it, then staying up when everyone else is already asleep will give you the peace and quiet that you seek. Just make sure you don’t make noise or disturb sleepers.
- Take time for yourself while everyone is watching something , like a sports game or your favorite movie. You can join for a short while and then apologize for a drink or snack away from the group.
Prepare explanations
Have a few quick explanations handy so you can slip away without worrying. Some examples that might work in your situation:
- Call a friend or other family member to wish them a happy holiday.
- Stick to your exercise routine . Even if your workout is just a walk around the block or to a local park. Be prepared to go before sharing this explanation, as someone might try to join you if you’re not going to walk out the door.
- See a local landmark . Again, you should wait until you exit before letting others know what you are doing, otherwise they might try to join you.
- Get some rest . A nap or rest (you might even say you’re not feeling well) can work wonders.
If you are overwhelmed, find some quick ways to be alone. Fake important text from a friend or work and go outside to call them, or step back for a little stretch, or camp in the bathroom.