Stop Asking People If You Can Pick Their Brains
It’s very easy to get in touch with famous people these days, isn’t it? A few clicks through social media or company bios and you can send a message to the newest rock star in your field, the guy or girl who create, destroy and reinvent everything from buses to wine cellars. You would love to meet this rock star in person – maybe sincerely to gather information that will be useful for your own career trajectory, or perhaps just to show your face and hope for some meaningful career connection – but the odds are what is happening is organically harmonious. So you position yourself as an impatient student, supplicant, and ask, “Could you meet for coffee so I can collect your brain?”
“Stop doing this,” says Jason Freed, co-founder and CEO of Basecamp on LinkedIn . Saying ” yes” because of the very words “pick your brain” is difficult.
First, he notes, what does an intelligent person get from this? This is just a call, not a mutually beneficial meeting of colleagues. He suggests that you think about what you are proposing and frame the meeting as more than just a compromise: “I would like to ask you a few questions about X, Y, Z, and at the same time share my opinion on A., B and C. “
I will also add that asking for an informational interview – if you are just starting your career and the other person indicated that they would like to take on the mentoring role – is fine, but don’t be discouraged. if they say they just don’t have time.
Freed also adds that a would-be brain-gatherer needs to tell in advance about the time it will take – there is no 15-minute coffee, so don’t pretend it’s less than 20-30 minutes. And, of course, offer to go to them at a convenient time for them.
So what’s an impatient networker to do? Interesting question posed by Adam Grant, professor of management and psychology at Wharton, in the New York Times . He notes that networking – in the sense of resenting strangers at parties, sending cold emails, and the like – is completely overrated as a strategy. What makes the job? Do something remarkable, even on a small scale, and grab the attention of rock stars by being a legitimate budding player in their respective fields.
In a way, this is all reassuring: you don’t have to be a mostly social, aggressively networked person to get ahead – you have to do a good job. Do enough of this, and soon people will be asking you to choose your brain.