How to Talk to Teens About Messaging With Strangers
If, after today’s morning story of Disney and Viacom apps that can spy on kids, you weren’t persuaded to burn your smart devices and encourage your family to devote themselves entirely to spying on kids , damn research into the wildly popular Kik Messenger app might convince you that the blowtorch is ready. …
A joint investigation by Forbes and Point Report has revealed some disturbing features of the app’s ease of communication for child predators.
While any messaging app is a terrible worry for parents, Kik raises particular concerns for two main reasons: the app’s prevalence among teens and its lack of privacy and security concerns.
Of the 15 million monthly active Kik users, 57% are between the ages of 13 and 24. What’s particularly worrying is that there doesn’t seem to be much regulation from the app, despite a $ 120 million increase in investment since 2009.
The report mentions open-access chat groups where explicit photographs and “child abuse material” are freely shared among predators. The investigation also created fictitious accounts of 13-14-year-old girls who received messages of a sexual nature within an hour of creation (direct messages can be sent to any Kik user in the same public chat or to a known username, which can be extended via messaging service via third party apps).
So what will you do if your teen is using Kik or any other messaging or chat app for that matter?
Talk openly about the dangers of online conversations with strangers
I know this sounds obvious, but there is a significant caveat to dealing with this with your teenage mind. I know from personal experience.
When I first connected to AOL at age 11, I struck up a chat with the username Cougar1010, as mountain lions were my favorite animal at the time. Guess which chat I entered first?
It didn’t take a lot of exchanges to realize that the Cougar1010 wasn’t interested in talking about the jumping ability of the cougar. In our chats, they did not discuss anything overtly sexual, but the tonal differences and allusion to me were obvious even at that age, and I quickly realized that the conversation was not completely innocent.
My mom recalls talking about the potential dangers of my new pen pal: “It was difficult because you were embarrassed that someone could deceive you like that. But we clarified our level of anxiety until we found out that you understand that it is unwise to continue. “
Be firm in your expectations while respecting their privacy
She also recalls that moment of initial panic when I started talking about my “new friend”, but what I now remember and appreciate as a parent is how calmly they helped me to realize the inherent danger of the situation, without going beyond their boundaries. … Confidentiality.
In retrospect, the combination of trust and firmness was key. This may be a precarious balance, but it can also be vital, as the early semblance of a teen’s love life can be tightly guarded.
Of course, not every teenager will share their online conversations. If this is the case, check out any messaging or chat platforms they use (use them yourself) and take the initiative to find out how each of them can be potentially dangerous, while trying to respect their nascent curiosity. If an app (like Kik) poses too much risk, be sure to block it.
Again, this is not always easy and requires some delicacy. In my case with AOL, because my pride and trust in people were hurt, my parents gave me the opportunity to end the conversation myself. They made their fears and expectations clear, but allowed me to do the right thing. After our conversation, they also made sure that their boundaries were respected, making sure that the correspondence did not continue.
“We didn’t read over your shoulder every time you logged in, but we watched you for a long time to make sure you no longer have contact with this person or anyone else who seemed suspicious,” Mom recalls. …
If the situation escalates into a potentially hazardous area, contact the authorities immediately.
Obviously, there may be situations where a more patient approach is not recommended. If you know that your teen has received explicit or pornographic material, sexually aggressive statements, threats or offers to meet from any stranger, your reaction should be harsher and you should immediately contact law enforcement.
Keep checking with your teen
Keep in mind that not every online interaction is nefarious, and teens tend to be reluctant to sacrifice their social independence online, so it’s important to keep your dialogue with your teen as open as possible to understand who they’re interacting with. so you can step in if necessary.