How to Teach Boys and Girls to Reject Sexist Stereotypes
I knew even before my daughter was born that I was going to raise her to laugh in the face of sexist stereotypes, to be who she wanted to be, and to contribute to keeping the world safe, so that others can do the same. most. And then we had an ultrasound scan and it turned out that I had a boy.
But fighting sexist attitudes isn’t just a girl’s business: it’s something we should all be doing to make our world a good place to live. This New York Times article is a mini-guide on how to do it. It is especially important for boys to avoid developing an unhealthy dependence on power and privilege that can come with dude territory. But as long as this power structure exists, guys are in a particularly good position to educate or interfere when their boyfriends are about to do something cruel, stupid, or unintentionally biased.
Here are some tips that may be less obvious:
- Let it be itself . You cannot completely protect your children from stereotypes, so this is a split in two. Do not crush him into stereotypes, but do talk about stereotypes that invade his life. (The ad for the dollhouse only has girls, which is weird.)
- Teach him to take care of himself . The guy who expects his mother or wife to do all the housework since 1950. And the guy who pitches in, but lets the woman keep track of what needs to be done, does more work for her .
- Learn “no means no.” It’s easy to start this task from childhood: never tickle a child who says he doesn’t want to be tickled. Extrapolate from there.
- Help him understand that it is his job to speak up. Teach him to be the person who intervenes when someone on the playground harasses another child. By teaching his child this one skill, he will make life so much better for him and for everyone around him.
The flip side of each of these points is to teach girls the same things while keeping your message in mind. For example, teaching your daughter to do housework or letting her play with toy kitchens is not anti-feminism. The problem is that only girls receive these lessons. Likewise, a girl can wear a princess dress if you make it easier for her to choose a dinosaur costume if she wants to.
Eventually, I did have a girlfriend, and sometimes I find myself letting her do things that her brothers didn’t let her brothers do (like choosing pink shoes). But I’m trying. All my kids know about the tickle-free rule. All my kids learn to do and will eventually take on some of the housework. (I can’t wait for them to be old enough to plan and prepare dinner.) It takes some conscious effort to raise children without the harmful stereotypes that surround us. But when we do this, we make our children’s world a better place, one little person at a time.