Use the Rule of Three to Identify Toxic People to Avoid
It’s hard to tell someone who screwed up once from someone who’s used to using others. To better understand who you can trust, follow the rule of three.
As the advice site Barking Up the Wrong Tree explains, some people are simply too toxic to include in their lives . However, if you label everyone who ever offends you with “toxic,” you will quickly begin to lose friends. Instead, apply the rule of three to determine when bad behavior is only part of their personality. If they lied to you or let you down once, it might just be a fluke. If this happens repeatedly, this is a pattern. Harvard psychologist Martha Stout explains it this way:
One lie, one broken promise, or one neglect of responsibility may instead be a misunderstanding. Two can lead to a serious error. But three lies tell you that you are dealing with a liar, and deception is the core of dishonest behavior.
Of course, there may be some exceptions that you may be aware of. If they throw the ball several times in response to some important responsibility after the death of a family member, this may be understandable. If there is always a family member who has died whenever he let you down, he may have lied to you. Watch for patterns in their actions, rather than focus only on their words.
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