Six Tactics to Keep Your Kids From Getting Too Materialistic
All parents want their children to grow up realizing that the best things in life are free and that happiness has nothing to do with accumulating things. However, getting kids to grasp these concepts is harder than ever.
This post was originally published on LearnVest .
This is because many children are raised with the expectation of being provided with toys, clothing and other physical items, ”says Fran Walvis , psychotherapist, child and family therapist and author of The Self-Conscious Parent: Conflict Resolution and Family Building . Better connection with your child .
According to Walvis, there is a tsunami of advertising on the Internet, on television and other media that is helping to shape that expectation. From video games to tech gadgets and trendy new clothes for toddlers, there is more on offer than ever before. The message they learn is that spending and ownership boosts self-esteem and satisfaction.
The blame for this belief “I need it and I deserve it” may also lie with exhausted parents who succumb to the wishes of their children. “Parents are tired and don’t want to waste the time they have fighting with their kids, so when kids want something, they often don’t say no,” Walvis says.
So how do you prevent your kids from turning into monsters and instilling in them the idea that people and experiences are much more valuable than this latest, most popular app? Whether your child is a toddler, teenager, or teenager, it is never too early or late to get the point across these six tricks.
Show them you can have some cheap fun
According to Susan Kuchmarsky , author of Becoming a Happy Family: Paths to a Family Soul, playing with your children as often as possible, without spending a lot of money, helps them teach them that fun and spending money are mutually exclusive.
“Dance with each other. Sing out loud to each other, Kuchmarski suggests, as a way to have fun (or have fun!). Try to create a painting together so that each family member gets a piece of canvas to work with, or just enjoy a game of cards. The possibilities are endless, and so are the benefits: Teaching kids what is fun and feeling good has little to do with acquiring items.
Make gratitude a habit
Ask the children to name what they are grateful for every day, says Nancy Shah , a psychologist who specializes in parenting. This is a ritual that she performs every night with her two children. “I ask them to tell me about three things that happened during the day that they were grateful for,” Shah says.
As Shah explains, focusing on positive life experiences creates happiness – a critical weapon in the fight against greed. “Materialism arises from a state of dissatisfaction or unhappiness when we seek happiness and satisfaction outside of ourselves,” she says. “If we focus on creating happy and satisfied children, they will by definition not be materialistic.”
Give kids special one-on-one encounters
Has your child been particularly well-behaved in a difficult situation, a difficult project, or a tough job? Rather than rewarding her with the latest signature toy, Walvis recommends indulging her in a general experience that is more special than her usual pastime, such as visiting a museum or a day hike or picnic in an area you’ve never visited.
“Instead of congratulating the child on something, you reward him with human contact and new experiences,” notes Walvis. She will enjoy receiving your undivided attention, and she will learn to value communication with loved ones and the joy of doing something else.
Be careful with your materialistic desires
You can’t expect your kids to prioritize ideals over iPhones and other things if you don’t walk yourself. While it may seem harmless to comment enviously on a neighbor’s new Beemer shoe collection or a friend’s designer shoe collection, try to resist – at least when your kids are within earshot. You can inadvertently send a message that you need these high-end items and they can follow your lead, Walvis says.
Teach Children to Pay Upfront
“Actions of kindness liberate children from a life focused on me, as they expand the circle of compassion,” says Kuchmarski. Their gesture of goodwill can be as simple as helping a younger child prepare for an exam or visiting an elderly neighbor who doesn’t go out too often. Your child will begin to think more time about what others need and how they can help, and less time to think about their own, often fleeting desires.
Share your family values
If you want your kids to internalize your core beliefs, highlight from time to time with family and ask them to come up with what they think are the five most important values, Kuchmarski says. Then show them how to put these values into practice in the real world. If there is generosity in there, talk about how to share with others who have less. If empathy is in your top five, ask the children to suggest ways to demonstrate this in school or in their community. By realizing the importance of ethics and putting it into practice, you will teach them that the non-materialistic things in the world are most important, and this lesson is invaluable.
6 Tricks To Help Children Avoid Materialistic Growth | LearnVest