Do’s and Don’ts of Public Foreplay
When we talk about sex, some of the most commonly used euphemisms refer to how personal the act is. We talk about what we do “behind closed doors” or “in the bedroom.” Naturally, the thought of performing on the road is taboo and sexy. Playing in public is a fairly common fantasy because it seems a little risky ( and sometimes it is ). You can make this a reality without going to Poundtown by engaging in public foreplay, but there is a respectful and safe way to do it.
Playfulness in public: how common is the fantasy?
It’s hard to say exactly how common fantasies about public sex really are, but 2018 research shows that novelty and adventure are elements of the third most common fantasy genre among Americans, just behind threesomes and BDSM. Anyway, while working on this article, every time I tried to Google something, I mostly got links to porn, where there are tons of staged upskirt videos of women on buses and clips of performers fucking with nothing unsuspecting friends and family. are just feet away from you.
Since we live in a capitalist society, we can evaluate the popularity of this fantasy in terms of money. If people didn’t want to take their play into the real world, we wouldn’t be able to buy wearable toys designed to be discreetly tucked into our underwear and controlled by an app on our partner’s phone, would we?
Ways to Engage in Public Foreplay
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how common the fantasy is. You’re looking for information here, so it’s important to at least one person, and that’s what matters. The problem with fantasies is that they can be abstract or overly complex. There are simple ways to incorporate public foreplay into your sex life without creating too complicated a scenario.
I spoke to Amanda, aka The Kink Consultant, sex and relationship coach, about how you and your partner can make it happen on your next night. Here are some tips:
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Firstly, make sure you are in a busy restaurant or bar, as the noise and general commotion will really give you some cover.
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Try the toy or handheld vibrator in private first to see how it works and whether you like it.
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Only insert it when you are about to start playing; if you do it early in the night, “it may become uncomfortable if you wear it for too long.”
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Think outside the box: “Restraints like a chastity belt or cage can add some spice. Using a butt plug or nipple clamps can be a lot of fun.”
Discuss the strategy with your partner before you get to the site of your choice. For example, make a plan for what you’ll do if you don’t like it, and set some clear rules for when you go home and actually get down to business. Setting the timeline and boundaries may seem a little gimmicky, but it shouldn’t take away from the fun of your adventure: “It can add a little spice to the controller so it gives directions to the user,” says Amanda. If you’re directing, something as simple as passing a toy and asking them to go to the bathroom and put it on can be exciting.
You can also try some non-game options, such as going to the bathroom and taking off your panties, then handing them to your partner when you return to your date. Heck, gamify it by challenging each other to see who can give the dirtiest speech at dinner. Whoever folds first and asks for a check because he’s ready to get out of there has to pay the bill.
Respect other people when you get horny on the main (street)
This is all fun and well, but it’s morally wrong to turn your sexual adventure into someone else’s problem, so always be respectful of everyone around you. The presence of strangers is kind of the whole point of fantasy, but they should never, ever know what you’re up to. It’s unfair to them.
“Consent is key, and strangers should never see you play,” says Amanda. “Busy and noisy places offer greater anonymity, meaning you can get a little more done without being noticed.”
If you use a portable vibrator, be sure to evaluate its volume during a test run at home and discard it if it will be heard by people around you. If you plan to talk dirty at the dinner table, speak quietly. Besides being respectful of others, you might actually have more fun if you set a rule of no touching while you’re out and instead wait until you’re in a more private place. Amanda even suggests planning your outfit according to your plans, noting that skirts and looser clothing make it easier to adjust items without drawing attention. A loose top can hide clips, and a long skirt can hide the fact that you’re going commando. Planning goes a long way, so don’t leave anything to chance.