Does Masturbating Before Texting Your Ex Really Help?
Sometimes you miss your ex. Other times you just miss sex – or you think you do. It can be tempting to reach out to someone you already know who matches your vibration in the sheets, knows what you like, and usually does it for you physically, but that’s not always the best idea. The standard advice here is usually to masturbate and see how you feel afterwards before texting your old love. You should, and here’s why.
Is masturbation the answer?
You can try erasing one, Joe, shake off the bean, whatever. At the end of this activity, you will have several answers about what is really going on.
“Connecting with an ex is rarely just about sexual desire,” says Dr. Maggie Vaughn of Happy Apple Psychotherapy in New York. She said that what you attribute to arousal may actually be a subconscious desire to rekindle an emotional connection, to determine if your ex has left, or to achieve some sort of closure in some way. But, she warned, “whatever you’re looking for, it’s unlikely to show up.”
If after masturbating you feel at ease and feel like you don’t have to hit your ex, it was probably just lust. If not, you need to have a serious talk with yourself before talking to them .
What if you still want to lend a hand?
If the vibe or your hand didn’t curb the desire this time , you’re not alone in looking for your old partner to wallow in the hay. In 2013, researchers studied almost 800 young people and found that more than half of them continued sexual relationships with their ex after breaking up. A 2018 study found that it’s actually not always that bad: There can be satisfaction, happiness, and even reconciliation that follows a one-time love relationship. Sex shouldn’t get in the way of your breakup recovery, but you should be clear about what you want. You just have to be prepared for anything that might happen.
“Ask yourself not only if you want to have sex, but also, ‘What am I emotionally discovering by doing this?'” said Matt Lachman, board certified sex therapist and owner of Cleveland Sex Therapy . “If you have broken off a relationship with someone and are in a good relationship, you are certainly capable of starting a relationship if you are someone who understands the difference between love and sex, but if you find the two difficult to separate, perhaps not bring to a conclusion”.
Vaughan suggested asking yourself what you expect, as well as how likely this outcome is. If, as Lachman said, you are not someone who really distinguishes between love and sex, you should decipher what you are really calling them to. You might be better off trying to find someone else for dates – and bones – in general. If you go to your ex looking for comfort or romance and only find physical encounters, you can get hurt again and again.
“Any contact with an ex, even Instagram stalking, will emotionally get you back into the relationship and undo at least some of the healing you’ve done,” Vaughan warned. “If it’s been a painful separation, it’s not worth engaging in any interaction until you feel that thinking about your ex and what he might be doing has little to no effect on you.”
So yes, masturbate. If that doesn’t stop you from wanting to sleep with them, it might be deeper, but at least now you have some answers and can decide whether to continue with them (under the guise of a connection or not) or just sit with it. one of.