What to Do If You Feel Like You Are Failing
In the workplace, there is a certain type of people who often have a bad reputation: colleagues who make great progress despite not doing their job very well. These people have “failed upward,” which means that they have achieved over-the-top success, sometimes through sheer luck, or maybe through ingenuity or certain alliances in the workplace.
Most people who fail to advance upward don’t necessarily consciously do so – in fact, no one wants to admit that their successes are undeserved – but a minority may be worried about their accomplishments, especially those struggling with Impostor Syndrome. If you have struggled with the feeling that you have unjustly climbed the corporate ladder, there are ways to deal with it to free yourself from excruciating feelings of guilt – and this includes helping others.
Why do people fail up?
The modern workplace is not a meritocracy, so many people get promoted or rewarded while the hard work of their colleagues goes unnoticed. Sometimes the reasons stem from sheer nepotism, such as when a boss promotes a lackluster employee just because they live in the same alma mater. In other cases, a common trait, belief system, or identity between a manager and an employee explains the reasons for undeserved promotions – a phenomenon that sociologists call ” cultural fit .”
Some people are especially cunning when it comes to the social dynamics of the workplace. Charisma can be especially intoxicating, as evidenced by the number of corporate leaders who have used their social IQ to achieve certain business heights, despite having controversial resumes and personal stories. Certain personality types tend to be blind to their own incompetence, which is a kind of cognitive bias that was explored andlater popularized as the Dunning-Kruger effect by social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger.
However, this is a subjective phenomenon. No two jobs are exactly the same, which means that those who fail do so for different reasons and due to different circumstances. However, for those with even a little self-awareness, feeling like you’ve failed can lead to impostor syndrome or a humiliating sense of self-doubt.
What to do if you failed to climb up
For those willing to honestly measure their own success, the idea of failure at the highest level tends to create a sense of guilt. A good example would be someone who survived a series of layoffs only to become a leader next month. “When you look at others who are unlucky, you feel overwhelmed with survivor guilt … or successful survivor guilt,” says Lifehacker Dr. Perpetua Neo, psychologist and leadership coach.
However, if others mumble about your failure, it may not necessarily be your fault, and it can complicate and exacerbate your guilt. According to Neo, this guilt can be paralyzing, leading to feelings that “burn your energy” at work and outside.
But much of this guilt can be overcome by realizing the qualities of failure that can be taught – these stumbling blocks can help you do better in the future. As Neo says: “Time will pass anyway, so do your“ failures ”that pay dividends to you – learn from them, instead of wallowing or beating yourself. Take advantage of them. “
First and foremost, if you believe your success is the result of luck, it’s better to focus on helping those less fortunate colleagues, especially the younger ones. This is partly due to acknowledging your strengths, even if deep down you think you were being given the opportunity unfairly.
“When you can also acknowledge your own gifts and honor your efforts in failing upward,” Neo says, “you create more energy for yourself, which means you have more to pay in advance.”
Neo pleads with anyone in this situation to introduce themselves at an earlier stage in their career. “When you think your young self has gone through this hell of failure, be that champion [your junior colleagues] have never been,” she says.
In this way, the impending feelings of guilt that might arise from high accomplishments can be offset and help others achieve the success they deserve.