Make a Cute Little Salami Rose From a Glass
When I was just 10 tender years, I saw the trailer for the Bed of Roses , Christian Slater’s car, which – at the time – seemed like the epitome of absolute romance. (I wasn’t allowed to see the film because it was rated R. Oddly enough, that same year I was allowed to see Jerry Maguire .) The florist (played by Slater) sends a bouquet of flowers to a strange woman because he saw her crying in the window, while he was walking.
As a divorced woman in my 30s, I now understand that this is not a romantic love story, but a horror movie, but the phrase “a bed of roses” still speaks to my inner prepubertal age. Roses are short for romance, the perfect thing for a lazy man to give to his romantic partner when he’s low on ideas and time.
And yet I am fascinated by roses. I love to walk around the different rose gardens in Portland and love getting bouquets from them, no matter when they were purchased. No wonder I’m just as in love with meat turned into roses, like the prosciutto in this box of Heartcuterie and the salami roses you see at the top of this article. (Oddly enough, the person I’m currently involved with hates giving roses because it’s “unoriginal,” but he gave me a whole country ham for Christmas, so I’m not going to argue with him.)
If you’re related to a fellow rose and meat lover, I have great news: salami roses are super easy to make. All you need is a package of chopped minced meat and a wine glass.
First, take salami (or other types of salami such as soppressata or chorizo), pre-cut into thin slices and at least three inches in diameter. You can also let the meat warm up a little at room temperature to make it more pliable. (Cold fat does not bend.)
Take a wine glass and place at least three slices of meat over the rim. You want half of the slice to be inside the glass and half on the outside, and you want the slices to overlap each other a bit so they look like rose petals.
Repeat the same with the other layer of salami, offsetting the second layer of slices so that their center of each new slice is aligned with where the two slices below it overlap. Repeat to create the third layer, then finish by draping one piece in the center to create the inside of your rose.
Invert the glass onto a plate or cutting board and carefully remove the rose from the glass. If you want to make a salami rose bed, you will need a lot of salami. It took 10 whole slices to make each rose you see above, using up the entire five ounce package I bought for making roses.
Once your roses are harvested, serve them with cheese, nuts, and any other Heartcuterie decorations your loved one desires, and make sure your fluffy Valentine licks his glass.