Don’t Say Those Annoying Cliches at a Super Bowl Party

If you don’t like it, a room full of football fans watching the game may seem like an intricate ritual from a strange cult. That said, there’s no reason to make everything awkward or make an ass out of yourself on the biggest football night of the year. If you decide to attend a Super Bowl party, here’s a guide on what not to say or do, as well as some tips on what to say instead.

Don’t say, “I don’t like football.” (Instead: “I don’t know anything about football.”)

I don’t go to your Tony Awards party or talk about how much I hate musical theatre, so you shouldn’t come to my Super Bowl party with an anti-football attitude. Instead, approach with a sense of curiosity. People usually like to share their knowledge with respectful newcomers. Saying, “What’s this game about?” likely to lead to a detailed explanation of the difference between an incomplete pass and an intentional touchdown, how a fair catch works, and why the LA Rams are considered an “away” team when they play at their home stadium.

Don’t say, “I don’t care who wins.” (Instead: “Let’s go sheep/bengals!”)

There are times in life when you have to choose a side, and the Super Bowl is one of those times. Sports fans have complex geographic, age, or philosophical ties to specific teams (for example, because I’m a morally decent person, I don’t support the Dallas Cowboys), but ultimately it doesn’t matter why you pick one team—just what you do.

The game will be at least 85% more exciting if you’re desperate for “your” team to win, even if they’re only your team for a day because you love the color of their helmets. If you want to make the game even more fun, bet money on it.

Don’t say, “It’s just a bunch of animals crashing into each other.” (Instead, “Why did they put on that play?”)

From an uninformed point of view, football may seem like a brutal chaos, but in fact it is a complex strategic drama in which intelligence, courage and athletic grace count more than muscles. Watching one game a year won’t get you any closer to understanding the true nature of football, but when you watch or play tons of football, it becomes beautiful and meaningful and should be experienced but not. described. Sure, it’s still brutal, but it’s part of a wild ballet.

Do not fake football knowledge. (Instead: Be quiet.)

Despite internet guides like ” Fake your way through the Super Bowl knowing nothing about football ” (sorry, Thorin Klosowski), if you try to fake it, we’ll know about it. Football fans watch at least four games a week and talk about football endlessly from the age of 6, so you won’t pass as a fan if you remember a few facts the day before the big game. Luckily, no one expects you to have deep knowledge of football just because you’re at a Super Bowl party. Relax. Eat some chips and stick to non-committal phrases like “Nice catch!” or “Look!”

Exception: If a penalty is awarded on the field, you can say “delay”. Usually keeps.

Don’t refer to “sports ball”. (Instead: come up with some new material.)

Maybe it was funny 10 years ago to call various sports a “sports ball”, but it’s not funny anymore. Also: It’s not funny to call a big game “Magnificent Owl”. (Maybe it’s a little funny.)

Don’t say, “Advertising is better than games.” (Instead: “Football is too corporate.”)

For many football fans, the Super Bowl hype is obvious, distracting and disgusting. Yes, advertising is often entertaining, but it is a necessary evil that highlights the money grab structure that can make major league sports so unpleasant. For fans, the Super Bowl is a game. Paying attention only to halftime shows and commercials is disrespectful. “Ad is better than a game” sounds poignant because Super Bowls are often lousy games. I hate that for many people the only football experience of the year is the glitz and hype of a lackluster game.

Don’t say “Game almost over” when there are five minutes left on the clock.

Football is not played within the time frame of mortals. Instead, it is played on Football Time, where the clock stops running for various reasons, and a game with four 15-minute quarters usually lasts three hours. Just sit back, relax and don’t try to figure it out.

Don’t refer to players’ clothes as “suits” and don’t refer to football rehearsals.

They are called uniforms and are football practice .

First, you don’t have to go to a Super Bowl party.

Remember: Super Bowl Sunday is a special day for football fans. It may seem silly to you, but it means something to us. Therefore, if you decide to participate in a Super Bowl party (and there is no rule that obliges you), you must show respect. After all, football fans are well known for their respect for the interests of others.