How to Maintain a Strong Friendship When You Live a Million Miles Apart
Three of my closest friends live thousands of miles away from me, but I have been able to maintain a deep connection with them. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years that you can use to maintain strong long-distance friendships.
Maintaining this friendship takes the same thing as friendship: effort. But the ways in which you can channel those efforts have changed with the advancement of technology. The Science of Us describes some methods of keeping in touch with friends at a distance:
- Share your experience with them . Whether it’s texting them instantly via WhatsApp or Facebook that you’ve gotten a promotion, sending a silly Snapchat, or setting aside time for Skype and catching up on words every few weeks, keeping them updated on your life will make you feel closer. I also try to create a shared experience with them, such as analyzing how Sherlock ended up, sharing our efforts to create a new recipe for enchilada, or which video game to try (Lovers in Dangerous Space / Time is cool).
- Make it a habit to keep in touch . The extra effort it takes to make long-distance friendships can be difficult to handle when you’re busy with your day to day life, but making keeping in touch a habit will make life much easier. For example, I created a private Facebook group that has two distant friends of mine, which makes it very easy to share an interesting article or video, since I’m usually already on Facebook.
- Meet in person if possible . Visits are expensive and require time off at work or school, but they are a key part of maintaining close friendships. I recently came to visit one of my friends who lives in Hawaii. Later this year, I am adding an extra trip to visit another friend in Norway after a wedding I attend in the English countryside. When my distant friends are in my area, I try to see them, even if it takes a vacation or a little travel to meet them.
- Know that it will be difficult . It is very difficult when some of your loved ones live far away from you. You will miss them, they will miss you, and a personal hug is something you really can’t replace. By being aware of difficult moments, it is easier to deal with them.
In addition to messages on apps and social media, I also often send postcards to my friends overseas to let them know that I miss and think about them. Doing something special makes me feel connected to them and hopefully they become closer to me too. Most of us have friends who don’t live close by, but that doesn’t mean the friendship should end.
How to keep friendships at a distance “wiki useful Science about us