How to Warmly Greet People Without Touching Them
I hate hugging people I don’t know, or even those I hardly know, and I’m not the only one. Whether you value your privacy, worry about germs, or for any of a million good reasons you just don’t want to have bodily contact with another person, there are a few things you can do to make yourself appear warm and welcoming. without bursting the bubble.
Both Vanessa Van Edwards, lead researcher in Human Science , and Jacqueline Whitmore , the etiquette expert who founded the Palm Beach School of Protocol, agree that the most important thing you can do is send the right signals to get touch level. you are comfortable with.
As the other person approaches
This is key to using your body language to influence how the other person greets you. I have had many awkward moments when someone hugged me at the same time as my handshake. Whitmore says that to avoid this awkwardness, you must first reach out to make it clear what level of contact you are welcoming.
You can also use a handshake gesture to set boundaries for personal space and indicate that the other person should be at arm’s length from you once you start a conversation. If that doesn’t work (some people just need to bend over ), Van Edwards suggests using your drink or bag to create a “block” between you and the other person to discreetly show them that you need more space.
When you greet someone
A firm handshake works in most situations, although at a party or barbecue it may seem a little formal. In a scenario like this, where cuddling may be more normal, Van Edwards recommends:
Raise your hand up and wave when someone approaches you. Soften the signal not to greet them with the expected handshake or hug by warmly saying that you are happy to see them.
If you are not satisfied with even a handshake, you need to use one of the few generally accepted explanations: illness or injury. Whitmore explains, “Just say, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I just had a cold and would rather not shake hands.”
Both Whitmore and Van Edwards strongly recommend a sincere smile (that extends to your eyes) as a simple and effective way to appear welcoming.
Graceful goodbye
If you have a great chat with someone, they may feel like you are connected enough to hug. In the same way that you sent signals about how you would like them to say hello to you, send signals about how you would like to say goodbye. It helps if you start with a specific reason for leaving . Then you can start a goodbye handshake or wave your hand. I also found that a quick shoulder squeeze and talking about how wonderful it was to chat seemed like a solid way out.
Instead of focusing on your concern, think about how you can show the other person that you are really excited, meet and chat with them – smile more often during the conversation, look in the eyes, be delighted when you find common interest. link to something they said earlier, or create an inner joke between the two of you. By deliberately radiating genuine warmth to the other person, you neutralize any coldness that they may feel due to your lack of hugs or other bodily contact.