The Gifts of Imperfection Want You to Let Go of Who You Were “supposed” to Be
As the name suggests, Gifts of Imperfection sounds like a book for the perfectionist. And this is so, but also much more. The main gifts are courage, compassion and connection. If you are ready to delve deeply on the path to finding more of these qualities in your life, read on.
Who is this book for?
The Gifts of Imperfection are good for you if you are one of the following: anxious, perfectionist, worried about what others think of you, excessive stress, overworked, disconnected, lonely, unhappy. It’s a long list, but there are many of us too.
This book is also intended for people who are ready to fight. There are no quick fixes or patches here – very few tasks. But the book will take you through reflections on how you live your life and how you can change.
What do you get
Brené Brown describes herself as a researcher / writer / storyteller (she is also a social worker and professor with a Ph.D.), all of which are revealed in this book. It opens with Brown’s own Awakening of Spiritual Awakening, a year-long (and ongoing) process of introspection that was initiated by her own research.
After years of researching and writing about shame, Brown noticed a pattern – people she called “Sincere.”
[In] this massive dataset, there was also story after story of men and women who lived such wonderful and inspiring lives. I’ve heard stories about the power of accepting imperfection and vulnerability. … … … These study participants trusted themselves and spoke of sincerity, love, and belonging in a way that was completely new to me.
As a researcher, Brown wanted to know what drives these sincere people. Therefore, she collected a lot of data, analyzed it and was amazed to find that sincere people live their own life, completely opposite to her life. So she set out to change that.
However, “Gifts of Imperfection” is not a memoir. Brown’s personal stories are intertwined with the analysis and work of other researchers, writers and thinkers. It is a thin book – weighing only 126 pages – but unlike most self-help books, it has little to no filler.
Once we become familiar with Brown’s idea of sincerity and the personal path, we will have a crash course in the nature of sincerity. It is based on two triads: courage, compassion and connection; love, belonging and dignity. And Brown identifies ten common factors in the life of sincere people. She calls them landmarks, and each is given a short chapter:
- Authenticity
- Self-compassion
- Steadfast spirit
- Gratitude and joy
- Intuition and trusting faith
- Creativity
- Play and rest
- Calm and quiet
- Meaningful work
- Laughter, song and dance
The subtitles for each chapter are as enlightening as the landmarks – the bad habits and attachments that Brown wants to help us get rid of, including: worrying about what people think, perfectionism, the need for numbness, powerlessness, scarcity, self-comparison. myself. for others, exhaustion as a status symbol, anxiety as a way of life, self-doubt, “supposed”, the need to remain cool and in control.
A total of 126 pages. I said that this book is tightly packed. What is missing on these 126 pages is handicraft. So this is hardly a self-development book. Very few exercises, tips, or directions. You have your own Brown model and have a lot to think about, but little is told about what to do. Of course, the latest landmarks like creativity and relaxation are pretty specific – I can figure out how to get more of them in my life. But authenticity? Sustainability? How??
This is what I meant when I said that this book is for people who are ready to fight. The book leaves you with a lot of work to do on your own, not only trying to change, but figuring out how to do it . I found it helpful to read with a notebook — I underlined key passages in the book as I read, but it was more helpful to write down the relationship I saw between the guidelines and Brown’s principles. (There were many small block diagrams.)
That said, while the tips and exercises from your standard self-help book can be really helpful, they are also versatile. The lack of this material here means that you are free to decide how you want to approach honesty. Feeling the last few landmarks really helps in this regard, and, in a sense, they work in the opposite direction: as you bring more creativity, calmness, and silliness into your life, Brown says, you’ll find your way to more. joy and authenticity. After all, how can you know which true self you want to reveal until you work hard to stop caring about what the rest of the world thinks?
Our opinion
This is a smart, sensitive and interesting book. He offers you big changes in your life and leaves you with the smallest details of how to get to them. But the big changes are worth the effort, and the Gifts of Imperfection gives you plenty of opportunities to get started. Even if you just take a few small lessons, you are likely to see meaningful results. And if you are looking to embark on your own destructive spiritual awakening, the Gifts of Imperfection may not be a complete toolbox and step-by-step guide, but at least they will help you find your way.