Recognize Someone Else’s Accomplishments Instead of Complimenting Them
We all give compliments at some point, most often with the intention of expressing a positive attitude towards another person.
Everything from “I really like your shirt!” to “I think you did a really good job here” is common in conversation, but they also have one thing in common: the word I. The Fast Company story this week indicates that when you use I in this compliment, you’re really talking about yourself and not about the other person.
Instead, Susan Bond, who works as an executive coach, suggests phrasing your assessment in a way that focuses on the person. So instead of saying that you like the shirt, say something like, “You have great taste. Your style really suits you. “
Compliments are superficial, versatile and often focused on the giver rather than the recipient, says Bond. “When you start praising with ‘I’, you are subtly aware of yourself: you are using what they wear to declare your sense of taste.”
She also recommends focusing on details with appreciation. Instead of choosing the all-purpose “Good Job!” for example, you might say, “You did a great job with these reports and included great details!”
Of course, this is a small nuance, but it can make your statement more sincere.