I Am Dawun Kang, Founder of Coffee Meets Bagel, and I Work on This Site.

After seeing the toxicity of other dating services, Dawun Kan created Coffee Meets Bagel as a safer and friendlier alternative. We talked to her about solving a fundamental problem with many dating services and how she runs her company according to CMB values. Davun also shared dating advice that no app can teach.

Current Place of Work: CEO Coffee Meets Bagel Location: San Francisco Current Computer: MacBook Air Current Mobile Device: iPhone 8 One word that best describes how you work: intense

First of all, tell us a little about your past and how you got where you are now.

I am originally from Korea, where I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs. My father and his brother started a metal recycling business in Korea, and my mother owned and operated a small shop.

My two sisters and I grew up watching my parents put so much hope, dreams and passion into their business. Sometimes there was frustration, self-doubt, and anxiety. But they were so persistent. They wanted to leave a legacy.

In 2012, my twin sister graduated from business school. I worked for JP Morgan. It was the perfect time for us to start something. Dating was one of the many ideas we considered. This has constantly surfaced among our friends.

This is a very interesting problem, a serious problem. We looked into the industry and found interesting dynamics. When you start using dating apps, you get confused. The experience can be boring, it can be overwhelming. I have had the same experience with every platform we have used.

In dating apps [Straight], there has always been a huge imbalance in gender ratio. There are a lot more guys than women who use dating apps, and they are almost twice as active. Because of this, guys get really frustrated and start doing things that push women even more away, and the vicious circle continues. Therefore, we wanted to create an unforgettable experience for everyone, as well as create a platform and experience that women will love. We care about safety and quality. This is how Coffee Meets Bagel was born.

Tell us about a recent work day.

I woke up at 7 am and meditated for 10 minutes. Then I took a hot shower (which is one of my favorite moments of the day), and after that I did yoga and stretching. After making my morning coffee, I went to work.

At work, I opened my calendar and strictly followed everything that it said. I spent the first 1-2 hours of the working day focusing on long-term strategic projects and preparing for our out-of-office leadership. The rest of the day was filled with meetings where I made a lot of decisions with my team. Here’s a snapshot of what some of these meetings looked like:

Product and design meeting: We discussed how one of our new features should flow. On CMB we have a subscription package and we received feedback that this is good, but should be better in terms of getting a real connection with other people. So in our product design meeting, we test out a few ideas, go over the mockups, and evaluate what it would be like to have this experience every day. Even tiny friction is compounded if you use it every day.

Weekly Staff Meeting: Listened and shared news of our weekly work. This is where leaders talk about things that affect the rest of the team. There is a budget proposal that we needed to make a decision on, and we needed to complete our one-page flyers for the first quarter: a summary of the goals and priorities of each group.

1: 1 With my CFO: exchanged frank feedback on each other’s communication styles. When your company hires a lot of people in a very short amount of time, you need to be vigilant about the cultural changes that might come with new influx of people. We have had a large influx of people, especially at a very high level, and they have a lot of experience in their organizations. At CMB, we have very distinctive values ​​that we emphasize: responsibility, accountability, collaboration, continuous learning and honesty. I talk about it a lot, and it’s important for me to talk about it when I don’t see it being demonstrated. Do not call anyone! Behavior change takes time.

How is your workplace arranged?

I have two monitors: a large one and a laptop, and an ergonomic keyboard and mouse. I have a small succulent plant on my right, and I hold a render board with some of my company’s top priorities for the quarter. I also have a book I read, Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days by Jake Knapp. And tea, I always have tea.

What’s your best way or shortcut?

My biggest “advice” is to keep the most important things on the calendar and keep track of them to the teeth. When I write something on my calendar, I rarely change plans. By following this method, I don’t have to make as many decisions about my priorities for the day, and I find I have less room to procrastinate.

What hacks were used at Coffee Meets Bagel?

Work force. In the beginning, everything at Coffee Meets Bagel was handcrafted. Manual matching. Manual approval.

We quickly automated the matching. Manual matching takes a lot of time, you need to go through the whole pool, it is too much. We just did this when we were testing about 50 of our friends. And we just sat and wondered – they were our friends, so we obviously knew them and could compare with them. And we sent them an email. We called them and asked: “Hey, what was today’s match and what do you think?”

In fact, the manual approval lasted quite a long time, which was a real pain. The three of us examined everyone to make sure they were safe.

Tell us about an interesting, unusual, or challenging process you have at work.

We are a truly transparent company. Everything is openly shared, including our financial issues. Almost everyone at CMB knows exactly what is being done and why, even if it may not always be about the team they work with most closely. I truly believe that this openness is fundamental to teamwork and productivity at the CMB.

Who are the people who help you achieve results, and how do you rely on them?

Everyone on my team, of course! It’s a rare day when I don’t cooperate.

I also started to outsource more things that I know are not my forte or that I just don’t like. I have a helper at work, a personal assistant, a cleaning lady in my house, etc. It really helped me to be more efficient and focused on my time.

Do you have any dating hacks of your own?

Oh, so many … this is a topic that I am really passionate about!

I think the best advice I can give when it comes to dating is to start with introspection. No dating app, not even Coffee Meets Bagel, can save you time or find the “right” match if you’re not sure what you want. We end up wasting a lot of time with the wrong people because we don’t know what we want.

Start with a blank piece of paper and write down what a great relationship looks like to you. Be as detailed as possible. For me, it could be, “I work around the clock and I don’t need to apologize for this.” Or: “We try new activities once a quarter.” When you’re done, use this list to choose which qualities you think are most important to your partner.

Then try to become that person. I know it sounds kind of backward, but I truly believe that we attract people like us.

Also, learn to communicate. We are not taught this (and usually we just adopt the communication style of our parents). But this is so important. Marshal Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication has really helped me communicate clearly, respectfully, and compassionately with my partner. For example, he taught me that anger is never the result of what others say or do. The reason is that I blame and condemn others for my unmet needs. Once I realized this, it was much easier to express what I needed from my partner than to lash out at him.

How do you keep track of what you need to do?

My calendar. I also made to-do lists, but noticed that the to-do lists piled up and just took up cognitive space.

How to recharge or relax?

Exercise, meditation and travel. I leave quarterly with my SO

What’s your favorite side project?

Pole dancing. When I founded Coffee Meets Bagel, I worked 24/7. I thought to keep my sanity, I should include some exercise or sport in my routine. It was monotonous going to the gym, but then I saw on Facebook a photo of my friend in a pole-on-pole suit. She looked so fit and gorgeous ( and she was the mom of a 3 year old)!

I thought I should do this. After the first lesson, I was hooked.

What are you reading now or what do you recommend?

I just read Patrick Lencioni ‘s Five Team Dysfunctions. This is a GREAT leadership book. I also just started reading Marriage All or Nothing by Eli J. Finkel. I heard Finkel speak at NPR and his theories really captured me.

I used to think that today’s concept of marriage is doomed to fail because we place “impossible” expectations on it. But the book argues that while it is more difficult to achieve a perfect marriage today, it is not impossible. Since all of our “survival needs” are met for many of us, we rely on marriage to satisfy “higher needs” such as self-actualization.

Who else would you like to see to answer these questions?

My friend Jessica Ma is the founder of Indinero. She is a craftswoman! The amount of things she does in such a short time is insane. She inspired me to outsource more non-core things in my life.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

If you do what you promised to do every day, you will get what you promised.

What problem are you still trying to solve?

I’m still trying to make sure all single people have connections that inspire them! I think that the power of human connections lies in the fact that they can give you the opportunity to go beyond yourself: to grow, discover, learn, be more than you thought possible. It’s an amazing feeling and I want it for everyone in the world.