The Out-of-Touch Adults’ Guide to Children’s Culture: 100 Men Vs. One Gorilla
This week, The Touchless People’s Guide looks at the age-old question of man versus beast, sees Gen Z throwing a hilarious right-wing cross at millennial decorating trends, ponders whether refusing to wash your face is a skincare routine or a cry for help, and explains why serving booze at weddings has become a generational flashpoint.
What is “100 people versus 1 gorilla”?
In a video posted three years ago , TikToker yuri5kpt2 was the first online to ask a seemingly simple question: who would win in a fight between 100 men and one gorilla? It took some time for the public to wake up to this intriguing hypothesis, but critical mass was reached this week and the debate has spread far and wide across the internet.
My first thought was that he would undoubtedly be accepted by 100 people. I mean, that’s a hundred guys! But then I thought about the overwhelming power of an angry gorilla, how it can literally tear off limbs and bite off faces, and the scales began to tip heavily in the other direction. I mean, look at this thing:
On the other hand, real primatologist Dr. Tara Stoinski gives this to people:
But I don’t think she takes the panic factor into account. If the question asks for 100 regular guys with no training, I’m guessing about 99 of them will run screaming as soon as the unluckiest guy in the group gets his face bitten off. I know I would do it. But the gorilla will panic when he sees a crowd of 100 people screaming at the top of their lungs!
Then you need to consider endurance. According to this (self-proclaimed) animal expert, the gorilla will be gassed after killing 30 or 40 guys, so the men will eventually emerge victorious, but only after suffering heavy casualties.
I’m leaning slightly towards humans now, based on the combined endurance of a hundred people and our natural survival instincts. This is the kind of question that can’t be answered until someone actually does it, and good luck with that given all the “laws” we have.
Since it’s 2025, this question can’t be allowed to quietly slip away like previous unthinkable internet riddles like “What would you do if you were being followed by a super-smart and deadly snail?” “ We just have one fight between a gorilla and a hundred people, and no one will ruin it?
What is “caveman skin care”?
Moving up the evolutionary ladder from gorillas, we have “caveman skin care,” a minimalist approach to personal hygiene that involves not washing your face, or at least not using soap. The idea has been around since at least the 1960s, but TikToker Tia Sacher brought it to the world’s attention in April when she documented her experiment with not putting any products on her face or even washing her face at all. The idea is to “return” your skin to a more natural and presumably healthier state. The result is not exactly pretty.
But this is temporary, at least according to Zacher. She says the uneven, bumpy skin on her face is a buildup of dead skin cells that usually wash away, leaving behind healthy, clear skin underneath. Most commenters seem to disagree and suggest that it’s actually a fungal infection, or maybe it’s rage-inducing, faking it to get attention, or it’s just plain disgusting.
There’s a lot going on here culturally. The widespread interest in the technique seems to be a reaction to the complex and expensive skin-care routines many people feel they need, and Zacher’s online abuse is depressingly predictable given that she is a young woman who does nothing other than present herself as seductively as possible. But putting all that aside, is this really a good idea? According to dermatologists, not entirely, but a little, maybe, sort of.
“This may temporarily help some people whose skin is severely irritated from overusing products because it reduces the likelihood of chemical irritation,” dermatologist Dr. Angela J. Lamb told Teen Vogue , but added that if you’re still wearing makeup and working out, not washing your face will likely clog your pores and could worsen acne or lead to yeast infections.
According to another dermatologist quoted by Teen Vogue , Dr. Asmi Berry, the caveman method is not backed by science and there is a better approach to firming up the skin. “Stick to a gentle cleanser, moisturizer, and mineral sunscreen,” suggests Dr. Berry.
What is millennial green and why is it so annoying?
Maybe it’s my inner meanness, but I can’t get enough of it when Gen Z notices lame details about millennia-old culture and brutally roasts them for it. First it was Harry Potter overindulgence, then millennial burger joint eating, and now it’s ” millennial green .”
Millennial green, sometimes called “sage” or “forest green”, is an evolution of the ” sad beige ” aesthetic that emerged a few years ago. According to the Pantone scale , it is somewhere here:
Once you notice it, you’ll notice it everywhere —just as evolution eventually leads to crabs , so any decoration eventually leads to thousand-year-old greenery.
I love this trend because millennials are still young enough to care what kids think of their jewelry choices, and they post funny/poignant videos about how uncool they are:
Wait, I just realized that Lifehacker’s color is some kind of millennial green. We’re not super-cringing, are we? My God. Now I’m going to rethink my life.
Generation Z and cash bars at weddings
Okay, I’m back. Our website may be green, but at least Lifehacker understands the importance of free booze at weddings. As the June wedding season approaches, many young people are defending the practice of charging guests for drinks at weddings. This is contrary to the laws of nature and should not be allowed.
Check out the discussion in this comment section X:
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On the other side of the debate, Gen Zers are calling people “alcoholics” for waiting for free drinks.
Seriously, people should be able to have any wedding they want, but this debate highlights another cultural gap between Gen Z and the us who came before: Young people don’t drink as much as previous generations , which proves that the real generation gap isn’t about the colors of the napkins; the question is whether you think vodka should have a price.
Viral Video of the Week: I Hid in Viral YouTube Videos and No One Noticed…
This week’s viral video is all about viral videos. So, meta. YouTuber Airrack has made a name for himself with challenge and prank videos, often involving sneaking and hiding in unexpected places such as the Super Bowl or Disneyland . This week he decided to sneak into other YouTube users’ videos.
The idea is that Airrak will camouflage and appear in the background of videos of online celebrities such as food YouTuber Nick DiGiovanni , fitness influencer Jesse James West , film director Darman , gadget maker Mark Rober and car destroyer Whistlin’ Diesel . If the commentators spot him, they get a point. If they don’t, Airrack will. I won’t spoil the ending, but Eirrak promised that if he lost, he would do whatever the top comment said. This comment reads, “Officially change your name to Diddy,” which really ups the ante. Whether the entire project is a delightful sitcom-crossover experiment or an annoying influencer stunt depends on your point of view, but the kids, as they say, love it.