30 Movies That Definitely Haven’t Aged

Movies become obsolete for various reasons.

Sometimes what seemed beautiful when we were children looks stupid in the eyes of adults . In other cases, the reasons are more complex: think of how Rambo III and The Living Daylights make the jihadi mujahideen heroes because they were fighting the Soviets at the time. Standards are changing too, often for the better: we don’t look at the obvious racism in Gone with the Wind with the same tolerance we once did, and we don’t glorify the rape culture that crept into 1980s comedies in the same vein . (at least we say not). Or maybe it’s because the language of filmmaking has changed, or the special effects that were fine back then are distracting to our more evolved modern eyes. In my experience, looking back with a more critical eye is usually a positive thing. The cost of growth, both as individuals and as a culture, makes us look back with some embarrassment and strive to do better. The movies aren’t necessarily bad (although some of them are, frankly, complete crap); time complicates the legacy of most films, but this one is bigger than most.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1953)

Even if you allow for the change in attitude, it’s hard to miss the core premise of this supposedly charming classic musical: it’s about kidnapping women en masse, taking them back to your cabin in the middle of nowhere and holding them hostage until they fall in love with you. The kidnappers already had boyfriends and partners, which goes a long way toward explaining why they abandoned the arrangement in the first place. Lest we mistake the show’s and the film’s creators’ intentions, the main production number, called “Weeping Women,” focuses on the mythological and possibly historical rape of the Sabine women, when the men of early Rome decided to build their civilization by capturing and forcibly impregnating women from a neighboring region. The song talks about the old stupid ideas that their “prey” (as the women are called) may spend a lot of time crying – but don’t worry: “We’ll make them crying women smile! “

Or else, presumably.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1963)

There really was no need for Blake Edwards’ adaptation of Truman Capote’s novella to indulge the over-the-top, undeniably racist characterization of I. Y. Yunioshi, Holly Golightly’s Asian landlord, by noted Caucasian actor Mickey Rooney. Harkening back to the most horrific stereotypes of the World War II propaganda era, Yunioshi is presented as a squinting, bumbling, snaggle-toothed Orientalist stereotype whose sole purpose is comic relief—a “comedy” entirely tied to his apparent inherent stupidity. The Japanese in general and funny artificial teeth in particular. The novella’s character wasn’t much of a caricature, and Rooney’s farcical turn feels out of place compared to the rest of the film’s muted tone. Even contemporary reviews noted the dissonance and offensiveness of the character, and I could never watch him without every scene ruining the enjoyable experience. (If you’re experiencing similar difficulties, good news: Mickey Rooney forgives you .)

Where to watch (if you want): Paramount+

Romeo and Juliet (1968)

Franco Zeffirelli’s take on Shakespeare’s play is both bold and problematic, and has been debated for decades. The lavish production dared to cast real teenagers in the lead roles, which shouldn’t come as a surprise… except that it had been done very rarely in the past (the previous 1936 adaptation had actors in their mid-30s). By emphasizing his growing sexuality, Zeffirelli took a dangerous path; There’s something to be said for taking a clear approach to the topic, but the film’s nudity has been controversial for decades. Most recently, stars Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting filed a lawsuit alleging they were forced and tricked into appearing naked in the film, allegations that cast a shadow over the once celebrated production.

Where to watch (if you want): Paramount+

Last Tango in Paris (1972)

In Bernardo Bertolucci’s erotic drama, middle-aged widower Marlon Brando is involved in a rather unpleasant relationship with a young Parisian woman played by Maria Schneider. The film’s most memorable scene, involving forced sex and a stick of butter, was once seen as a kind of 1970s sexual debauchery but has since tarnished its reputation. Schneider spoke about the abusive treatment she experienced from Bertolucci and Brando, especially during the filming of this scene.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Animal House (1978)

A font that birthed an entire era of teen comedies about raunchy slobs and snobs (think Revenge of the Nerds , Police Academy , Porky’s ), Animal House is hard to rewatch. There are hilarious moments, but also plenty of scenes that highlight the culture of sexual aggression we still live in. an unconscious girl who we later find out is 13 years old (he doesn’t, but still). John Belushi’s Bluto spies on unsuspecting sorority girls in the nude, and during a trip to a roadside restaurant, the film’s only black characters threaten our protagonists because they want to steal their white dates. Enlightened thing.

Where to watch (if you want): Netflix

Blue Lagoon (1980)

The late 1970s, a great time for American cinema in general, also gave birth to a subgenre of films that are increasingly uncomfortable for modern eyes. This was Woody Allen’s world, in which a movie like Manhattan , about a 40-year-old man dating a 17-year-old, seemed perfectly reasonable, at least to all the other men going through a midlife crisis and fantasizing about their own lives. . sexual significance. “The Blue Lagoon” is a little different in that the two leads (Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins) are at least age-matched, but its story of sexual awakening on an island feels overly lascivious—as if we were meant to appreciate their youthful innocence, looking at their lithe, mostly naked bodies. Shields herself recently spoke about her discomfort with the film’s marketing and approach, which placed an inappropriate emphasis on her youth (she was 14 at the time).

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Arthur (1981)

I adore “Arthur” (and its all-time great theme song), but it’s hard not to find the film’s flippant approach to alcoholism distasteful circa 2023. Dudley Moore stars as the title character as a venerable and lovable drunkard, a character type that dates back to Shakespeare’s works. Falstaff, so it’s not like the morals of the 80s are particularly to blame for this. However, Arthur drives drunk and has a great time when he’s not acting like an ignoramus, and the plot prescription for him is the love of a good woman (the phenomenal Liza Minnelli) rather than a road trip to recovery.

Where to stream (if you want): Amazon.

Sixteen Candles (1984)

Like much of John Hughes’ ’80s work, Sixteen Candles combines charming and funny elements with plot points that date almost immediately. It’s clear that Gedde Watanabe’s Chinese exchange student Long Duk Dong is a rare example of a person of color wandering into any of the writer/director’s films, and he’s an Asian stereotype from head to toe, with every appearance accompanied by the sound of a damn gong . At least Hughes hired an Asian American actor to play the character, although he didn’t differentiate between the Chinese Dong and the Japanese American Watanabe. Less overt but just as disturbing is the film’s attitude toward consent: Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) pursues a disinterested Sam (Molly Ringwald) to the point where she gives him a pair of her underwear in exchange for being left alone . He later trades said boxes with another guy so he can be alone with his unconscious Caroline (Haviland Morris). It’s not entirely clear what happens next, but in any case it’s disturbing.

Where to watch (if you want): Netflix

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Temple of Doom , always the weakest of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, still has enough spirit of rollicking adventure (and a memorable performance from Ke Hai Quan) to recommend it overall. The problem lies in the portrayal of Hindus and Indian culture more broadly. While attempting to recreate the spirit of 1930s adventure serials, the film unfortunately carries with it much of the corresponding racist baggage. All the Indian characters are either victims that Indy must save or devious cultists/wizards harvesting organs. This all leans too heavily on stereotypes; what was controversial at the time of its release looks even worse 40 years later.

Where to watch (if you want): Paramount+ or Disney+.

Short Circuit (1986)

Overall a delightful sci-fi comedy for kids about a robot built for war who decides he’d rather hang out with Ally Sheedy and Steve Guttenberg (there’s a nice message about personal identity and autonomy). sidekick character Ben Jabituya, played by white actor Fisher Stevens with brown makeup, an exaggerated Apu accent from The Simpsons, and various tiresome incorrect expressions. Even worse? In the sequel, the character takes on the lead role.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Rambo III (1988)

The starting point of what would become the Rambo series, First Blood , sought to overcome Vietnam-era PTSD, while the second sent Rambo after forgotten prisoners of war. Number Three sends him to Afghanistan to rescue an old friend, while taking sides in the long-running conflict between the Soviet Union and Afghan mujahideen rebels, cutting through Soviet troops with a machine gun and a rocket launcher. and creating a record number of victims (literally! Guinness World Records named it the most violent film ever made in 1990). This was not just a fantasy—support for Afghan militant groups had been a central element of US anti-Soviet planning for more than a decade; in some ways, it’s Stallone bringing dry public policy to life for kids who act out American imperialism through toys, comics, and video games based on the film.

In the 1980s, there was no greater threat than the Soviet Union, so anyone who opposed the USSR automatically became one of the best. It’s complicated, of course, but many of these Afghan fighters went on to form the core of what would become the Taliban, so this element hasn’t aged very well yet. In the film’s favor, it steers clear of some of the Islamophobic stereotypes of American cinema, but speaks more to America’s habit of offering unwavering support to a particular faction in the region without thinking about the long-term consequences here or there.

Where to watch (if you want): Paramount+

Driving Miss Daisy (1989)

“Driving Miss Daisy” will forever remain among the ranks of highly acclaimed and well-intentioned Oscar winners that wowed Academy members by tackling issues of race by highlighting the experiences and perspectives of white Americans. Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman give great performances and there’s an undeniable charm to the whole thing, but that’s the point. It’s cute, with a clapping “can’t we just get along?” take on racial harmony. Do the Right Thing , an undisputed classic with a much more complex and nuanced story, came out the same year and wasn’t even nominated.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Dances with Wolves (1990)

From Driving Miss Daisy a year later we jump to 1990’s Dances with Wolves , another well-intentioned but awkward attempt by a white director to tackle race relations. This film distorts history and also includes problematic depictions of Native Americans: the Sioux characters are primarily in the “noble savage” mold, while the Pawnee characters are exclusively villains. The biggest problem is the tired white savior narrative, in which a Caucasian character is not only our guide into the Native American world, but also the hero of the story. Because as we know from history, the white people were definitely on the side of the indigenous people of North America.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon Prime.

Chasing Amy (1997)

Chasing Amy seems like a movie that could have worked if there were some weird voices behind the scenes. The story of Holden’s (Ben Affleck) pursuit of Alice (Joey Lauren Adams), who identifies as a lesbian, could have been an exploration of sexual fluidity or bisexuality, but instead it plays out like a straight guy’s fantasy: spending enough time with a hot lesbian, and ending up with you’ll catch her eventually. It’s mostly well-intentioned and so close to the job, but the emphasis on a straight dude’s desire for an unattainable woman means it ends up feeling far less innovative than he thinks it is.

Where to stream (if you want): Amazon Prime or Paramount+.

Conspiracy Theory (1997)

For some reason, this powerful thriller starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts and directed by Richard Donner, in which it turns out that a paranoid loner’s ravings about a vast global network of deception are right on target, sounds different in the post. -Yan. 6, mid-pandemic, anti-vaccine era. Strange. (And Mel Gibson, ugh.)

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Spawn (1997)

Don’t waste too much time on stupid effects here… times change, standards change, and things that seem fancy to us now may have been pretty darn cool back in the day. Not so much with Spawn , a film that mixed impressively dark superhero action with some very dumb nonsense… and tied it all together with CGI that looked stupid even at the time. Spawn’s visit to Hell in particular includes footage that looks barely better than video games of the era. the animated series does a much better job with the source material.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Never Been Kissed (1999)

On the surface, it’s a cute movie starring the always charming Drew Barrymore as a 25-year-old editor who, as a high school student, takes on undercover work and begins to fall in love with teacher Michael Vartan. They begin a flirtatious relationship that (thankfully) goes nowhere until Barrymore’s character reveals herself… at which point the teacher becomes deeply upset by her lies. And perhaps about the fact that she is not a real teenager? Although the film never crosses the line, it is rife with creepy subtext. Chances are, the high school student you find attractive won’t be secretly older, so probably don’t flirt with him.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

American Beauty (1999)

We could spend all day talking about the fall of American Beauty from a beloved Best Picture winner to a film that is largely forgotten, if not outright ridiculed. Some of this is a little unfair: suburban boredom in the 1990s was more part of the zeitgeist than it is now, and there were people (mostly white people) who genuinely felt that life had become too stable and boring, and that the pursuit to compliance was the biggest threat. After 9/11, the Iraq War and Donald Trump, these fears began to look somewhat exaggerated.

But there are more specific reasons why American Beauty performs worse: the first has to do with Frank Fitts (Chris Cooper), a bitter conservative who turns out to be a closeted gay and who is so driven mad by the contradiction that he turns to murder. Even a gay writer and gay film director can’t bring that old trope to life. However, there is more to Kevin Spacey’s titular character. He is obsessed with Angela Hayes (Mena Suvari), a 16-year-old neighbor, and we are meant to view his malevolent passion for her as a kind of metaphor, as well as his decision to finally accept her as a human child and not an acceptable object of desire, since he somehow redeems. If this was once difficult to do, it is now almost impossible, given the actor’s fall from grace.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Petty Hal (2001)

Mellow Hal stars Jack Black as a man who has been hypnotized into seeing only inner beauty in people, causing the rather superficial character to be oblivious to the weight of new love interest Rosie, played in a fat suit by recent Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow. All he sees is skinny Rosie, and it all has something to do with the idea that we shouldn’t worry so much about what’s going on outside. The problem (and this is not uncommon in films of this nature) is that the feel-good message is completely undermined by an almost constant stream of fat jokes (not to mention the fact that the presentation of “inner beauty” is up to conventional standards). beauty standards are superficial in a different way). Even the otherwise satisfying ending, in which Hal sees and accepts Rosie for who she truly is, includes the final blow when Hal tries to pick her up but finds that, of course, he can’t.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

The Mummy Returns (2001)

The second Mummy film is a watered down copy of the adventure film from the 1999 original, although it is enjoyable in its own right. But oh my, the visuals have aged poorly. To say that the title’s Scorpion King (directed by Dwayne Johnson in his feature debut) looks like something out of a video game does a disservice to video games, even ones that are 22 years old. Brendan Fraser called the effects fun entertainment . I’m more or less willing to go down that road with him, but the fact remains that what looked substandard in 2001 will be frustratingly annoying in 2023.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Notebook (2004)

The Notebook , one of many love stories that seem less romantic than creepy to modern eyes, includes a scene in which the title character (Ryan Gosling) dangles from the top of a Ferris wheel and threatens to fall to his death if Rachel McAdams’s Ally continues clearly and loudly refuse to meet with him. Cute!

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon Prime.

Crash (2005)

“Maybe we’re all a little racist?” I think that’s what inexplicable Best Picture winner Crash is trying to get across by pretending it’s some kind of revelation. Overly ironic and filled with redemption arcs for its white characters, it presents a sentimental idea of ​​racial harmony that is certainly too formulaic and simplistic, but especially so in 2023. It won awards because some members of the Academy weren’t going to vote for a gay cowboy movie, and I can’t imagine many people have bothered to watch it since then. (At least Don Cheadle is great.)

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon Prime.

Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

We’re talking about Hollywood’s history of whitewashing, but casting white people in non-white roles isn’t the only potential problem: Here, director Rob Marshall and company assembled a talented Asian cast but didn’t bother to highlight anything more. Zhang Ziyi and Michelle Yeoh, Chinese and Malaysian actresses respectively, have been cast in the lead Japanese roles in this story, which is clearly set in Japan. Japanese audiences (or, really, anyone who bothered to notice the difference) were disappointed that non-Japanese performers were playing geishas, ​​and Chinese audiences were upset about the unsavory historical connections between geisha culture and sexual slavery.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon Prime.

World Trade Center (2006)

Oliver Stone’s take on 9/11 received average reviews, which would be a good thing, but its reputation is marred by a few things: First, Oliver Stone’s increasingly crazed conspiracy theories, some related to 9/11, have further complicated matters. approach your films objectively. The film doesn’t say any of this, but it does have a smaller, but overall uglier casting choice: 9/11 rescuer Jason Thomas is a US Marine who is also a black American. Oliver Stone and company cast white actor William Mapother for the role, which they claim was simply a mistake when they pressed for him. Without buying it.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

2012 (2009)

This Roland Emmerich disaster movie has a pretty amazing cast: Thandiwe Newton, John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, etc. But other than that, it’s about as generic as it gets. Add to that the fact that it was created to capitalize on the bizarre idea of ​​the world ending in 2012 (thanks to a deliberate misreading of pre-Columbian Mesoamerican calendars), and there’s really no reason to rewatch the film. If only the world really ended…

Where to watch (if you want): Netflix

The Blind Side (2009)

Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for her role in The Blind Side ; it’s hard to deny her charm, and she gives a great performance, but her star power only compounds the story’s fundamental problem. Although the focus is largely factual, the focus is not on aspiring star Mike Oher, who spent years shuttling between foster care and his substance-addicted biological mother, but instead on the wealthy white family who “adopted ” his. . It’s all perfectly watchable, but the film can’t overcome the problems of the white savior narrative. More recently, Michael Oher claimed that this was all largely nonsense: that he was never officially adopted by a family who instead convinced him to make them guardians of his business. The Tuohys and their two biological children received huge royalties for the film, but Oher himself received nothing. If this is all true, then it rather dramatically highlights the problem with white savior narratives that center the wrong people.

Where to stream (if you want): Amazon.

Help (2011)

Even though The Help is relatively recent and full of brilliant Oscar-nominated performances, it feels like a throwback to the civil rights movement. On the surface, it’s a charming, feel-good film about people coming together, but the experiences of black domestic workers in the 1960s are told from an almost entirely white point of view (perhaps unsurprising, given that there were very few non-whites). directors who played significant roles behind the camera, also true for the source novel). Despite her Oscar nomination, Viola Davis expressed her disappointment very harshly , saying that by appearing here she had “betrayed herself and her people.” More than a decade later, we might (perhaps) be more sensitive to the fact that this era was about the challenges faced by black Americans and the victories they achieved, rather than the learning curve of a white suburban woman named “Skeeter.” “

Where to watch: Hulu

Passengers (2016)

In Passengers, interspace traveler Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) wakes up in his hibernation pod 90 years early; the ship is on its way to a new Earth, and now he will have to spend the rest of his life awake and alone, with no way to go back to sleep. A sad situation, of course, until he spots a beautiful face among the other sleepers (Jennifer Lawrence) and decides to track down the details of her life (she’s a journalist) on the Internet before waking her up and pretending it was a malfunction. She eventually discovers his deception, which has ruined her dreams and plans and condemned her to live the rest of her life with no one but Chris Pratt , and of course she is angry at first. But she gets over it and they live happily ever after. This is as good a metaphor for destructive and toxic masculinity as you’re likely to find, except that the self-justifying jerk here isn’t just a character from our point of view, he’s presented as an empathetic hero.

Where to watch (if you want): Amazon.

Justice League (2017)

Part of me appreciates the chaos era of DC superhero movies—a time when a movie’s plot might revolve around a jar of urine (thanks, Batman v Superman ), but Warner Bros.’s first wave of attempts at the cinematic universe split up about halfway through their first film together. In contrast to the airless, meticulous self-management of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC’s overarching style was fun to watch anyway. Justice League , originally conceived as a huge two-film tentpole, was ultimately stripped down and pieced together by two very different directors (Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon), and it never feels like anything less than Frankenstein’s monster which she is. The later, much longer Snyder Cut still isn’t particularly good, but at least it seems to be the product of a single (flawed) vision. Plus, the special effects look like they cost over $15.

Where to stream (if you want): Hulu, Amazon or Max.

Flash (2023)

In the same vein, although this feels like an even lower blow: The Flash was outdated and lost relevance long before it was released. The film, delayed in part due to Covid, became another victim of the increasingly problematic behavior and legal troubles of its star, Ezra Miller. It’s hard to market a superhero movie when your best hope is that people will forget who’s starring. At the same time, declining revenue from DC films in general meant that this attempt at a soft reboot was doomed even without all that: by the time the film was released, Warner Bros. and the company has already made it clear that they have no interest in continuing the adventures of the Zack Snyder-era characters. The attempts to create a DC multiverse here seemed more ghoulish than anything else, the CGI recreations of beloved actors like Christopher Reeve seemed tacky rather than moving – I suppose given the recent discussions over actors’ resemblance to artificial intelligence, this point may seem like a sign of things to come, but at the moment it seems like another reason to let the dead rest.

Where to stream (if you want): Max or Amazon.

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