What People Are Getting Wrong This Week: Taylor Swift Conspiracy Theories
If there was a Billboard chart for the most deceitful celebrities, singer Taylor Swift would be number one. Her unprecedented level of fame has led to legions of crazy people and internet weirdos making up all sorts of strange things about her. Everyone has probably heard the theory that the NFL is fixed by now, but there are many more out there , so let’s go down Swift’s rabbit hole and unearth some of the weirdest conspiracy theories about everyone’s favorite one-punch intelligence agent. -spy writer-slash-Nazi-slash-satanic clone.
Taylor Swift participates in government-backed mass psychological campaign
Taylor’s current theory claims that Swift is a key player in a Pentagon-led psychological operation aimed at re-electing Joe Biden as president in 2024. The plan called for using Swift as a government agent and creating a fake romantic relationship between Swift and Kansas City. Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, who then convinced the NFL to negotiate a 2023-24 football season to ensure the Chiefs’ appearance in the Super Bowl. It all came together beautifully and will culminate on Sunday with Taylor Swift appearing at halftime of the big game to support Joe Biden.
Similar fever dreams used to be spread through flyers left at bus stops, but we’ve come so far that famous people like Fox New’s Jesse Watters and failed Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy have endorsed and amplified parts of the idea. a narrative that prompted the real Pentagon to respond. “Listen, assholes, Taylor Swift is just some singer. Stop being so weird,” Pentagon spokeswoman Sabrina Singh told Politico . “I mean, damn, look at you people. Lord,” they didn’t add.
Taylor Swift is a writer who writes under the pseudonym Ellie Conway.
Officially, Ellie Conway is a young writer whose debut spy novel was adapted into the film Argyll . But Conway’s social media presence is suspiciously small. An aspiring novelist’s unpublished book that inspired a $200 million movie deal is raising suspicions. What’s even more suspicious is that there are no known photographs of Conway, and her official biography is only two lines long. All this has led to the theory that Taylor Swift is actually Conway. Evidence: The fictional character “Ellie Conway” from the film Argyll looks and acts a bit like Swift, and has the same cat.
This week it was revealed that Ellie Conway never existed ; All this time it was just marketing for the movie business. There was no spy novel. The only Argyle book is a book based on the movie, not the other way around, and it was written by Terry Hayes and Tammy Cohen, both established authors. Taylor Swift had nothing to do with this. Also: Argyle gets bad reviews .
Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce for money
This tweet from alfalfa man Nick Adams sums up yet another Swift and Kelsey conspiracy theory:
Swift, a real billionaire, has not commented on the rumor.
Taylor Swift secret gay/bi
Almost all NFL conspiracy theorists aren’t Swift fans, but one of the most persistent rumors about the singer comes from her own fandom. They call themselves ” gaylors ” and think Swift is gay or bi. Despite her much-discussed relationships with various gentlemen and her public statements to the contrary, Gaylors believes that Swift only reveals the real truth about her sexuality through the coded messages she leaves in her songs and videos because she is a fan of The Riddler.
Taylor Swift is a Nazi
Back in 2016, before Swift publicly supported LGBT rights and vowed to topple Donald Trump in 2020, some on the alt-right were fascinated by online role-playing games in which Taylor Swift pretended to be a secret Nazi.
“Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena is reborn,” wrote Andre Anglin, a huge nerd, on The Daily Stormer. He continued: “Taylor Swift is a secret Nazi and just waiting for the moment when Donald Trump allows her to safely come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world.”
Taylor Swift is a clone who worships Satan
Taylor Swift bears a passing resemblance to Zeena Schreck, daughter of Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey, leading to the reasonable and normal belief that they are the same person. “But Steve,” you might say, “Shrek was a high priestess of the Church of Satan from 1985 to 1990, and Swift wasn’t born until 1989, so how could this be?” Well, genius, it might be because Taylor Swift is a clone.
Swift is just one of many Shrek imitations created around 1990 to spread the word of Satan throughout the earth. Swift left clues in her videos that point to this grim fact, such as one of them featuring a pyramid. And they do look a little similar, so there’s no denying it. Case is closed.
Taylor Swift was on 4Chan.
Back in 2013, a theory circulated on 4Chan that one of the site’s users was actually Taylor Swift. Numerous screenshots and evidence have been discovered or fabricated that the anonymous 4Channer was in fact Tay-Tay. The most telling thing: someone on the site said he was a famous artist. Although this may be true. This theory is at least possible: Swift was 23 at the time, and there are a lot of 23-year-olds working at 4Chan. You can also see how posting anonymously somewhere can appeal to someone as famous as Swift. None of this is proof, of course, and there’s ultimately no way to know if it’s true – 4Chan users can’t be trusted. But I want it to be true. Anyway, if you want to dig into this nonsense further, you can start with this YouTube video from Wang .