Common Phrases You Shouldn’t Post on Your Dating Profile

When it comes to finding love online, it’s all about making a good first impression. After all, we live in a swipe culture with itchy trigger fingers. If you want to stand out from the crowd, your curriculum vitae needs to be in perfect shape. In fact, according to eharmony’s recent Get Who Gets You report, 28% of people who go on dates say the top priority when creating a profile on a dating app is that the profile accurately reflects who the person is.

“Because you have such a limited space to communicate who you are, every word you use matters,” says Laurel House , an expert on harmonic relations. “The details you provide should be interesting and focused, and appropriate to start a conversation. The point is to add small details that stand out, show that you’re interesting and have a personality, and create opportunities for conversation.”

However, even with the best of intentions, many of us may fall back on clichés or include details that we think are interesting but aren’t. With that in mind, here are a few phrases you should avoid on your dating profile.

“I like long walks on the beach”

Okay, maybe you really like a good walk on the beach to relieve stress. However, as House points out, it’s more often than not an extremely generic phrase that many people mindlessly include on their profiles “because it sounds like someone else would love to hear it, not because you like it.”

This is another example of why she says your profile should stand out and reflect your personality. “The more focused your profile, the broader and more interesting it is. The more strokes and scale of your profile, the more boring and unmemorable it will be. The less details, the more opportunities for communication.”

“I don’t want someone to be x, y, z…”

While you might think it’s a good idea to be clear about what you don’t want, House says it’s important to remember that your profile is about you. “This should not be your opportunity to tell them what you are or are not looking for,” she says. “You can determine who they are and if they are right for you by looking at their profile.”

However, she adds that you can mention your purpose of dating to immediately weed out those who are just looking for dating. “At the end of your profile, you can say something like ‘Looking for something real’ which means you are looking for a real relationship.”

“Some people say I’m chaotic…”

Being self-deprecating can be charming at times, but House says that if someone says they’re chaotic, “they subconsciously put it up as a warning to see if you’re interested anyway.”

While you might think that you’re being honest with such a phrase, House says that when someone writes something like this on their profile, it actually shows your red flags, even if you don’t fully realize it. Instead, you should focus on your green flags or the unique and positive traits that make you a catch.

“I want to explore what’s out there…”

If you think you are open-minded with such a statement, think again. House sees these kinds of statements as an orange flag that needs more questions and clarity.

What does it mean to “explore”? Are you in a place where you are interested in finding something real? Or do you play online? Does this desire to explore mean that you want to explore the city, restaurants and entertainment?”

That’s why clarity is important, she says. “Clarity also provides an opportunity to start a conversation and ask more intriguing and interesting questions. According to eharmony, summer residents find standard dating app profiles that don’t say enough about who people really are, and this is most annoying in app profiles (55%). They are not just annoying, they can be misleading and even repulsive.”

“I’m ready to have some fun…”

Again, this is another vague statement, says House, that needs to be talked about in order to clarify and understand what the statement means.

“What does ‘fun’ mean?” House asks. “Do you want to enjoy life now? Or do you want to have fun playing on the field? The purpose of your dates is to have fun?

That’s why she recommends clearly stating your purpose for dating and then writing your profile to match your purpose.

“If your goal is to have fun, you’ll make your profile light by mentioning how fun and outgoing you are, like hanging out with friends, going out for drinks, smiling a lot, etc.,” House explains. “If your goal is exploration, you can focus on travel, the importance of personal growth, or the fact that you are constantly on the go because there is never enough time to see, do, and experience all that life has to offer.”

In other words, be specific and personal about what you want and who you are.

“I’m separated…”

You might think you’re being candid about your marital status, but House says your separation shouldn’t be posted on your dating profile.

“The fact that you are separated is a conversation to have in order to communicate, explain and build understanding and confidence about the reality of the state of your marriage,” she explains. Telling someone you’ve broken up is “an actual conversation, not a statement or a checkbox ticked on an app. Too many people will exclude you without giving you a real chance if they see that you are only shared on your profile. Even if you are in fact just separated, this is a fact that can be revealed once the conversation starts to give you the fair chance you deserve.”