How Solo Travel Is Actually Good for Your Relationship
Solo travel is gaining popularity. Google’s trend data shows that solo travel has increased by 761.15%, while Booking.com shows that solo travel has nearly doubled since the pandemic. If you’re in a relationship, you may assume that you can’t afford to take a single vacation. After all, many of us feel like we need to do just about everything with our partner, especially something as important as taking a vacation from work and seeing the world. However, according to relationship experts, traveling alone may be exactly what you need to do to strengthen your relationship.
“There is a misconception that when you are in a relationship, you need to do all the important things with them, but in fact I would argue with the importance of doing some of the important things on your own or with people outside of your relationship.” saysHanna Guy , licensed clinical social worker. “Our relationships are at their best when we as individuals are at our best.”
If you’re itching to visit a new city or country without a partner, here’s why this might be the best idea to help improve your love life.
You will learn to be self-sufficient
“The more we can be alone with ourselves and enjoy our own company, the more we can be with another person,” says Sarah Melancon , a sociologist and clinical sexologist. “Travel can help a person deepen their relationship with themselves, which can ultimately help deepen relationships.”
Travel is often an investment that pushes you outside of your comfort zone, and according to Guy, being comfortable outside of your comfort zone is what makes you stronger and more able to deal with life when it gets challenging in your partnership and beyond.
“For example, let’s just assume you’re worried about a flight and your flight ends up getting cancelled,” she says. “It will increase your anxiety, and it is you who will have to deal with it. Your partner cannot come and save you. I know we’ve been told it’s very romantic, but at the end of the day, healthy relationships don’t develop because one partner is constantly saving the other. When you can control your anxiety about a canceled flight and then arrange for another flight, you are telling your body that you can get through and save yourself.”
You grow as a person
Exploring new places, cultures, and meeting new people are some of the great benefits of travel, which Melancon says not only helps you grow, but “that self-expansion helps you come home to your relationship with a fresh eye.” Your height can further strengthen your bond with your partner and in turn can inspire them to do the same.
Plus, Guy says traveling alone is a great reminder that you’ll have a different life experience traveling alone than with a partner, which is a good thing.
“During my last relationship, I made the decision to go on a solo trip to Scandinavia and ended up making lifelong friends,” Guy says. “Earlier this year, I even went to Portugal with a friend I made on that solo trip. I would never have had that opportunity if I was traveling with my partner at the time. When we invest, really invest in ourselves, it has a trickle down effect. When you feel satisfied and fulfilled, your relationship will be more satisfying and fulfilling.”
You will value your partner more
Absence does indeed make the heart more loving. “When we see our partner on a regular basis, especially if we live together, over time it can be easy to take them for granted, become annoyed by their strange habits, or feel less appreciation in the midst of everyday stresses—even though we deeply love and care for our partner.” Melanson says. “However, when we get some space and distance from our partner, it can increase our attraction and sense of desire.”
And, as Guy says, you will probably understand all the things that you appreciate in your partner that you usually take for granted. “Let’s just say your partner makes you coffee every morning,” she says. “It’s easy over time to just get used to it and even expect it. When you are on a solo trip, you will wake up and notice that there is no coffee on your bedside table. It highlights what you’re used to, which we hope will in turn increase your appreciation for your partner.”
You can still follow your dreams
Relationships require compromise, and sometimes that means putting off what you’ve always wanted to do. Melancon says the opportunity to fulfill your dream of traveling alone without feeling like a limited partner is the perfect gift you can give each other. “What if you’ve always wanted to go on a Caribbean cruise, but your partner gets seasick? Is it worth it to say goodbye to a dream? Traveling alone allows people to follow their interests without requiring their partner to come on board,” she explains. “It can help us feel accepted and supported for who we are.” And you will not feel resentment towards your partner either, which promises only good for your connection.
It deepens trust
Traveling alone requires a deep level of trust between partners, which can reinforce the security you share with each other, Melancon says. “Spending time alone can build trust as we part ways and get back together, we see that our partner is still there for us,” she explains. “When partners can feel safe spending time apart, whether it’s an afternoon, a weekend, or a longer vacation, they can feel more secure in their relationship overall.”