The Complete Guide to Showing Love in Your Life

Manifestation is a buzzword, especially when it comes to finding love. Search the hashtag “love and manifestation” on YouTube and TikTok and you will find a huge number of videos teaching how to show love in your life. But what does it really mean to show love —and is it really possible?

Manifestation is the understanding that like attracts like. What is similar to itself will attract and create more like itself,” saysTaylor Carr , clinical hypnotherapist and womanhood coach. “It’s a little woo, but there’s also so much science that now backs up these theories. What most people don’t realize is that they are constantly attracted. Every moment of every day, we manifest ourselves simply by who we are, what we expect, the thoughts we think, the actions we take, and the words we speak. But learning how to use it and creating it intentionally is where life can get really interesting.”

Charlotte Kirsten , a trauma psychologist and manifestation expert, says there can be a very valid and practical approach to showing love.

“Put simply, manifestation works by helping people explore, deconstruct, and assemble their belief systems so they can better understand the connection between their thoughts, their emotions, their actions, and how it all shapes their life experience,” she says. . “When you change your behavior, thoughts, and perspective, you naturally change the lens through which you look at the world.”

When you do this, Kirsten says, you change how you see yourself, how you act, and more importantly, what you allow or accept in your life. “In practice, this can mean leaving a toxic relationship earlier, looking for more positive qualities in a partner, such as respect and trust, and here is the key: choosing to believe that there is someone more suitable.”

But most importantly, when it comes to manifestation, according to Kirsten, there must be an element of “doing” to attract new love into your life. “Manifestation will not work unless steps are taken to encourage change,” she says. “There are no prayers or wishes for the perfect partner to fall from the sky.”

Below are some actions and beliefs that you can apply right now to help show love in your life.

Get a clear idea of ​​the qualities and traits you want to attract

What do you want to experience in love? Who is your ideal partner? Kirsten says being clear about what you want when it comes to love will help you manifest it, but that doesn’t mean you have to make a giant list of superficial traits. “It’s about visualizing and creating the life you want to live with your ideal partner,” she says. “If you want more trust, loyalty, or respect in your relationship, ask yourself why. Beyond the obvious, this may signal that there is some element of healing that you need to undertake before even thinking about entering into a new relationship. Likewise, if you’re adamant that you want someone with “blonde hair and blue eyes,” find out why. Will it really serve you, or is it because you want to feed a certain part of your ego?”

The more clear you are about your intentions, the more you will be able to recognize them in the real world while ignoring what no longer works for you.

Be your best lover

Because love attracts love, loving and knowing yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself to help manifest love in your life. In part, this will help you connect with your own sense of self-love and self-worth so you don’t have to look for someone else to give it to you.

“A lot of people want someone to walk through their lives and know them, love them, and accept them for who they are when they haven’t even done the work of loving themselves yet,” says Carr. So before you step into your life with a lover, Carr recommends showing love in your life right now by going out on dates, filling your own cup, getting to know yourself better and better every day. “The trick is to do all of this from a sense of abundance, not lack. Know that if you’re doing this work, love is on the way.”

Rethink the negative

Kirsten then recommends examining your current belief system. “Whenever you catch yourself thinking about your looks, your previous relationships, or making reckless statements (“I can never find another partner again”), check yourself,” she says. “Ask, ‘Is this really the reality I’m trying to create?’ If not, reformulate the negativity into something more like where you want to be.”

For example, she suggests replacing it with the statement, “I have attracted a partner who treats me with the love, respect, and devotion that I deserve.”

Carr says that clinging to old grudges, including an ex, can also prevent new love from entering your life.

“If you still feel attached to your ex, find a way to let him go. Let go of the anger you feel, or even betrayal, and return to love. You can use small prayers such as: “They did the best they could with what they were given” and “I release you with love.” Always come back to the energy of love.”

Raise your standards

If you want the best in love, Carr says, part of that means expecting the best.

“It’s time to stop being content with the breadcrumbs of life,” she says. “Trying to be ‘cool’ or ‘easy’ just leaves room to attract a partner who can take advantage of your courtesy. Start expecting more and have the courage to lovingly cut someone off if they don’t live up to your newfound standards. So you are sending messages to the universe (and your brain) about what you are available for and what you are no longer available for. The universe brings you what you show it you are ready for.”

Make it as real as possible

If like attracts like, then, according to Carr, it is extremely important for you to feel the love that you want to receive now. “I tell all my clients, go through the world like a woman (or person) who is already loved. You can practice sitting down and imagining the person of your dreams coming into your life and how they will make you feel. Remember what it’s like to fall in love and let it fill your body. You can also record your perfect day with that person and really feel it.”

Take concerted action

Finally, Kirsten says that when it comes to manifestation, there has to be an element of action, even if it’s as simple as putting yourself in new scenarios to meet new people. “Don’t be afraid to experiment with people who are not your usual type. More often than not, our type arises from the desire to fill some kind of void in childhood, which, as you can imagine, only exacerbates feelings of inferiority, low self-esteem and loneliness when it does not work out, as it does for us. hoped. View this stage as a test of the new beliefs you have created.”

And then… let go and be patient. “Manifestations rarely happen overnight, especially if you have to rebuild your entire belief system and thought process,” says Kirsten. “As with most things in life, it takes time to see results. But the good news is that once you’re in the “flow” of bringing things into your life, you’ll see opportunities to speed up the process. Almost like a personal social experiment, you’ll learn exactly how and what it takes to attract new love into your life – and pretty quickly.”