You Should Try “intuitive Dating”
You’ve tried online dating, speed dating, and blind dates. If you still don’t get along with love affairs, how about trying intuitive dating?
“Intuitive dating is dating information that comes from your intuition or “internal barometer,” explains relationship coach Carrie Jereslow . “This includes checking your ‘intuition’ — how do you feel about the person? What does your intuition tell you to do before or after a date?
According to Jereslow, intuitive dating is different from regular dating, where external judgments and expectations determine your choices.
“For example, if you had a great date and want to connect with a person and they seem interested, you might have a strong gut feeling or thought to text them. Intuitive dating says that if you have such a feeling, follow it, ”says Jereslow. “Conventional dating says you shouldn’t text someone too quickly after a date so you don’t seem ‘too’ interested.”
Essentially, intuitive dating is based on following your bliss, knowing yourself, and trusting your instincts, while casual dating is based on “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” based on external data derived from our cultural or social programming.
Do you want to try intuitive dating? Read Jereslow’s tips on how to listen to your intuition to get the most out of your love life.
Why Intuitive Dating Helps With Dating Burnout
Instead of mindlessly logging into an app, scrolling through people, and going on countless dates hoping to find someone you like, testing your intuition will help you become more focused with your time and who you invest your energy in.
“Intuitive dating will help you focus the energy of your clear intent,” says Jereslow. “It automatically slows down the nervous system, calms the mind and focuses the energy. You don’t have to go on a hundred dates just to see if there’s a connection. You let your intuition guide your choices. You will probably go on fewer dates, but by using your intuition, they are likely to be more meaningful.”
How to know if your intuition is leading you
With so many thoughts and worries in our head, especially when it comes to dating, it can be hard to tell the difference between your intuition and your fears.
“Listening to your intuition comes in those quiet moments or milliseconds when you take a breath and listen for a hunch that may not make sense to your logical mind, but when you feel a strong urge to do something,” explains Jereslow. . “Intuition is illogical; this feeling is inside you. Many times your intuition will contradict what your logical mind says. The logical mind is our programming – those beliefs that we have adopted from our culture, society or family. Our intuition guides us while our ego keeps us from feeling vulnerable. Our ego has rules and lives by those rules. Our intuition often breaks the rules, guided by feelings and hunches.
Before using your intuition in a dating plan, Jereslow recommends first developing your intuition within yourself so you know what it feels and sounds like. This can be done by blocking out the noise around you, or by using techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling. But it can also be cultivated in alternative ways, Jereslow says, such as taking a bath or shower, taking a walk in nature, spending time with an animal, listening to music—anything that will give your thoughts a break and space.
Jereslow says that if you’re trying to figure out whether your intuition is leading you or not, it’s important to ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I think it’s right, or was that what I was told? Or do I feel like I really want to do something, but I can’t explain why? The last one is your intuition speaking to you.
What does intuition look like in your personal life?
So, now that you know and understand your intuition, Jereslow recommends the following to help you integrate intuitive dating into your personal life.
Get a clear idea of what kind of experience you want to have and what kind of person you want to date. “ Write it down. Ask yourself, “Is this what I really want, or is this what I’ve been told will make me happy?”
Practice listening to these inner nudges in all aspects of your life. “If you are drawn to go to a certain coffee shop, go there. If you’re drawn to listening to a particular podcast, do so. If you follow your hunches and don’t know why you did it, even after you did it, trust that there is some reason why you were drawn to do it, even if it’s just respect for your intuition.”
Be intentional in your dates. “Bring holiness to it by being thoughtful and deliberate. It can feel like you’re closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and hooking up with your ideal partner before flipping through a dating app. Or set the intention that you only hang out with supportive, friendly, caring people before you go to the party.”
Keep doing your inner work. “Understanding how your past relationships affect your current dating experience is fundamental to having a better dating experience. Our subconscious mind is like a computer operating system. If our beliefs match, our dates will be the same. If you’re meeting the same people or getting the same results, ask yourself what on your operating system might be causing this. I always suggest working with a therapist or coach when doing this deep inner work. The subconscious loves the familiar and will do everything in its power to stay the same. The gentle guidance of the coach will help to reveal what is hidden.