How to Kill at Karaoke Even If You Can’t Sing
Have you ever gone to karaoke and watched with envy as others took to the stage when you were too caught up in your own anxiety to try? Or worse, have you actually overcome your fear of going up there only to find in real time that you can’t sing a note and you have the stage presence of soaked pasta? I can save you with one piece of advice – the perfect karaoke song for non-singers who lack charisma: “Tequila” by The Champs .
Despite being almost entirely an instrumental, this beloved tune should be in the library of any self-respecting karaoke DJ. (Perhaps no one has asked for this before you.)
Why is “Tequila” the perfect karaoke song?
“Tequila” is the perfect song for a comedic mediocre public performance for four reasons:
- Everyone knows and loves Tequila, but few have heard how it is made in karaoke.
- The Champs helpfully built their song around three climactic hooks that a very drunk performer can perform without any musical skill. It’s even about drinking.
- This is a song with the participation of the public – everyone wants to shout “Tequila!” with you.
- It is very short – just over 2 minutes. You don’t want to abuse hospitality with something like this.
How (and when) to sing “Tequila”
It is important when and where you sing “Tequila”. It’s not great in a sparse room or early in the night. It’s a “middle of the evening” song that works best in a room full of people who are relaxed and getting bored with nervous people mangling popular ballads.
Anyone who picks this song and yells “Tequila!” At just about the right time, most of the karaoke crowds will pass, but you can turn up a Tequila if you’re an extrovert, dedicated, and comfortable with being a public nerd. In other words: make a performance out of it.
Commitment is a basic component of any public speaking. If you expect others to pay attention to you in any situation – at a karaoke bar, public speaking, etc. – you should at least pretend to be sure of what you are doing or saying, so drop your inhibitions and let go of the situation. Remember: everyone came to this bar to have fun, make a fool of themselves and watch other people make a fool of themselves. The only thing you can really do wrong is look awkward.
Below, I’ve given some productivity tips to get you started, but don’t get practised . You’re aiming for an improvisational feel that should sound like you’re putting no effort into it at all – I mean, what kind of weirdo would seriously practice something as ridiculous as singing “Tequila” in a karaoke bar, let alone about to analyze why this is the perfect karaoke song?
verse one
In the first part of the song, you will contain your energy as much as possible. You want to look like you’re looking forward to an important moment. Stand up straight, nod your head slightly, and move your lips as if you were counting each beat. Look at your wrist from time to time – it will be more fun if you do not wear a watch.
When “Tequila!” part comes, completely break character and deliver your line with a big smile and a big gesture. Basically, you’re copying Andy Kaufman’s Mighty Mouse.
Verse two
Here you can relax a little. You don’t have to be huge, but look like you’re having fun. Clap your hands if you manage to find the right non-standard rhythms. Move your shoulders a little. Bob his head. Make eye contact with the audience. Point to people when you shout “Tequila!”
Verse three
You’ve probably guessed where it’s all headed: you’ll be dancing Pee Wee Herman . The crowd has been waiting for you to do this the whole song, and you’re going to give people what they want. Not necessarily everything (unless you’re dancing). A dot behind you/a dot in front of you is enough.
As the end of the song approaches, feel free to say, “That’s it!” And point to your audience. Unless you’re in the most intense karaoke bar on earth, everyone in this place will be screaming the final climax of “TEQUILA!” with you.
No you shouldn’t just pick a rap song instead
You might be thinking, “If I wanted to write a karaoke song that didn’t require singing, I would choose a rap song.” I beg you not to do this.
Vocals require both pitch and time signature, and rap vocals are almost always very complex rhythmically (unlike “Tequila”), and it’s all about getting it right. If you don’t know you can sing a particular song, you’ll ruin rap, even a track you’ve heard a million times, and end up standing on stage babbling for endless minutes.