How to Make Your Own Ranch Water
Before we were of legal drinking age, my best friend and I used to hang out with her older boyfriend and his older friends, mostly because they shared their (terrible) booze. I had yet to learn anything about cocktails, and we were in no position to be picky, so we drank a lot of Captain Morgan and Diet Coke, Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Smirnoff ice cream, all three of which were pretty disgusting.
I don’t know why men in their 20s were drinking these particular drinks at this particular time. They were sticky-sweet, making it hard to drink more than a couple, which is annoying when your main goal in drinking is to get drunk. Hard seltzer hasn’t been “invented” yet, at least not in the massive, ubiquitous form you see today, but I think these men in their 20s would really like it and I’d love to take it. . from them.
Of course, homemade hard seltzer has always been an option. All you have to do is add the alcohol to the seltzer, although I like to spice up my drink with a bit of simple syrup and bitters. Ranch water is one specific type of homemade hard seltzer.
In its simplest form, ranch water is made up of just three ingredients: tequila blanco, lime juice, and topo chico. It is sometimes served in a highball, but often drinkers free up some space in the Topo Chico by pouring (or drinking) an ounce or two of seltzer and then pouring the drink into a bottle.
It’s like a fizzy, skinny margarita, and the bubbles – and the rather high seltzer to booze ratio – make it refreshing. This is ranch water , after all, so it should be fairly dilute and watery.
If you want to riff, then do it by all means. Like most seltzer drinks, ranch water is highly processed. A little hot honey syrup or even simple syrup can soften the spiciness of the booze, and some people top it off with liqueurs, a pinch of salt, a little oleo saccharum, or a slice of pickled jalapeno pepper.
However, Topo Chico is non-negotiable. According to Garden & Gun , “the bouncy fizz of Topo Chico, a mineral water born in Mexico in 1895 that tickles the nose more than most,” gives the drink a “champagne-like bubble structure.”
Do-it-yourself water at the ranch
Ingredients:
- 1 12oz Topo Chico bottle
- 1 1/2 ounce blanco tequila
- 1/4 oz lime juice
- bar spoon of sugar syrup (optional)
Open a bottle of Topo Chico and pour or drink about two ounces of seltzer. Gently – it will sizzle – add tequila, lime juice and plain (if using). Stir lightly with a straw or chopstick and garnish with a lime wedge.