How to Make Your Home a Hangout for Teenagers
Around the time the pandemic hit, my husband and I started thinking about moving to a larger house. We wanted a large backyard with a deck for entertaining and a ready basement that we could furnish with comfy sofas, a TV and maybe a ping pong table. My vision was to have a home where we could gather our extended family for special occasions and a place where our only child could gather all his friends. I wanted our home to be a home for teenagers and (eventually) teenagers.
Toward the end of elementary school, there is a transitional period where parents stop coordinating “play dates” and children start planning their own “hangouts.” It’s no longer a matter of scheduling meetings with the children of the parents you like; now it’s about helping teens go back and forth with the kids they develop closer bonds with. But because I know how important their friendship is to them at this age — not to mention how quality friendships can positively impact them as adults — I have a vested interest in knowing the children who matter most to my son. .
Unfortunately, my teenage dream party was not destined to come true. You know how the story unfolds: the house hunt during the pandemic seemed less than ideal, and then inventories collapsed as demand skyrocketed, bidding wars ensued, cash-back offers were thrown in all directions, and now interest rates are what they are. But I’ve also discovered that you don’t need a lot of space or a lot of money to make your home the place your kids and their friends are drawn to after school and on the weekends.
Start by being a parent who offers
The first step to making your child’s friends feel comfortable around you and in your home is to be a parent who proposes. Offer a ride to school, offer a ride to a couple on the way to the pool, offer to open up your backyard to a bunch of fresh-schoolers (then put your TV and Nintendo Switch outside, serve pizza, and be happy). hero).
Last school year, I drove my son’s best friend (and friend’s little brother) to school so often that they completely lost their guard around me. The twisty conversations they had, the insults they threw at each other, the “new mother” jokes they told (and knew I would laugh at), I was there for it all. They also knocked on my door when they realized halfway to school that they had a saxophone, but no music, and needed to get to it quickly.
If you are around them and greet them when they are young, they will feel comfortable with you and in your home as they get older and are more likely to come back again.
Create a meeting place
A few years ago, before we even considered moving, I was looking for ways to expand the living space we had and in the process create a dedicated hangout spot for my son and his friends. I took what seemed unlikely—the unfinished basement of my house from circa 1925—and turned it into what we called Kid’s Cave . Once I had this place for them, the regular meetings with the kids became more manageable because they had a place to play video games loudly that wasn’t right in the middle of our little living room, and they had more privacy away from us .
This summer, with our renewed commitment to this home, we decided to go even further than Kid Cave and expand our backyard patio. Most of the grass is gone, but in its place is a place where I imagine middle schoolers and eventually high schoolers hanging out around a campfire or playing quotation marks . If you can’t create a new space for them, you can add extra seating to their bedroom to make it easier for them to gather there. Bean bags or large, fluffy pillows can give them more room to lounge around without everyone collapsing on the bed.
Whatever space you focus on, the key is to give them a reasonable degree of privacy and get something done. If your home has a place for entertainment with table tennis, table football, air hockey or an arcade machine, they will naturally be attracted to a boring Sunday afternoon. Keep a stack of board games handy that kids will never grow up with, like Monopoly, Clue, Uno, and Twister. Someone will pull them out on a rainy day.
Be fully stocked
Another key to being a favorite hangout home is to make sure you have all the supplies you need at all times, I mean snacks and drinks. My son’s friends know where chips and baby drinks are hidden, and they know my supply never runs out. I make refreshments readily available so they know they’re welcome. If they ever get hungry after school, I want them to know they can pop in for a bite to eat.
You can even keep a simple muffin or cookie mix on hand to toss in the oven when they start to settle – the smell alone will make them want to come back. Or you can take out the pizza utensils and various toppings and leave them in the kitchen to make their own creations. You don’t have to try too hard or give it your all, just make sure you always have a few options available.
And then get out of their way
You want to be a welcoming presence, but you don’t want to hang around. Provide space, entertain, feed, and then mind your own business.