The Hidden Meanings of Real Estate Jargon
When someone puts their house up for sale (and enlists the support of another person whose only job is to sell that house), it makes sense to present it in the best possible light. This inevitably leads to a lot of embellishment with a coded language that most of us are already familiar with.
While a home may indeed have ” good bones ” and a master bedroom that “exhibits a sophisticated character”, what does this fancy jargon really mean? If you’ve ever read a listing of houses or apartments and felt cheated by some of the words, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Here we understand.
How to translate the language of description of houses and apartments
Cozy: I hope you don’t mind being cramped and living on top of each other.
Cottage style: see above.
Rough Diamond : This home is in an unpopular area.
Good Bones : This home has potential, but you’ll have to pay a fortune to get to it.
Custom Built: This home has many bespoke, personalized details that perfectly match the previous owner’s tastes. Your? Maybe not so much.
Well maintained: This home doesn’t have many great features worth mentioning, so we say that instead. (Okay, okay, it might have a new roof or windows.)
Move-In Ready: Again, not much more to say, but at least she’s ready to move in.
Rustic: Do you enjoy living on the prairies of the 1800s? Chilly. We have a home for you.
Original Details: This old-fashioned house needs some work.
Vintage : I’ll take obsolete for 1000, Alex. (Sorry Ken and Mayim, it will always be Alex.)
Beautifully Updated: You may have to ignore the old look from the outside to get to the updated interior.
Low maintenance yard: This yard is either the size of a postage stamp or not landscaped.
One of a kind : There is something odd about this house that puts a lot of people off.
Sale price: We need to get rid of this property as soon as possible for a reason that should interest you. Please someone get this off our hands.
An oasis from the hustle and bustle : This home is isolated AF. Only come here if you don’t mind driving the 12 miles to the nearest grocery store.
Unique Appearance: Most people find the aesthetic of this home odd.
Sold As Is : There are definitely some things you won’t like about this home, but the seller won’t take care of any of them before you move in.
Great potential investment : this is a hard mode fixer. It might work for you, but only if you don’t mind spending the time, money, and sanity on the project. Chances are you’ll spend a hefty amount on all of this.
Near Transportation: There may or may not be a train track across your backyard. Further investigation required.
Bigger than it looks: does this house look small to you? You are right. This is.
Great starter house: This is where you should live until you can afford something better.
This house won’t last!: We’ve been trying to unload it for months. Please respond to our scare tactics.
Requires some TLC: may need some redecoration; bowel repair may be needed. In any case, open your wallet.