What Are “pink Flags” in a Relationship (and What to Do About Them)?

We all know about “red flags” or signs that someone is not going to be a good partner. From someone who can’t admit they’re wrong to talking too quickly with an ex, the list of potential red flags is long and often discussed . But you may never have heard of “pink flags”—something that can be a cause for concern but harmless enough to be understood and worked through—provided you actually do the work.

What is a pink flag?

Sexual health organization Condoms.uk recently commissioned a small study on the idea of ​​pink flags, sharing the results of their research with those who want to understand their partners and get a better idea of ​​the longevity and compatibility of their relationship.

Here’s what you need to know: Ness Cooper , clinical sexologist and relationship coach at Sex Consultant, explained that pink flags are “flags that can sometimes appear red until you actually get to know the person and the reasons behind them. It’s when something can feel like a lot of anxiety and anxiety in the relationship, but after the interaction, it’s actually all right.”

True red flags, such as violence or cruelty, are unacceptable even when communicating. Pink flags are manifestations or traits to talk about.

What are examples of pink flags?

According to Condoms.uk , look out for pink flags such as mismatched love languages, lack of communication, or differences in beliefs, whether religious, political, or related to the perception of what is “right” and what is “wrong”.

Oh, and if your partner is still friends with their ex, experts say that’s a rose flag too. It’s not entirely bad or wrong, but you need to talk about it in order to better understand why they chose to remain friends, find out if they still love their ex, and decide if you’re comfortable. with this.

Rach Wilson , Relationship Coach at Divine Relating, noted that “every relationship has its difficulties, and most of them are inconsistencies, which is the pink flag in the first place.”

Some of them, she said, are manageable and can move “without any serious casualties”, while others are not.

What to do with pink flags?

If someone is showing warning signs, such as narcissism, secretiveness, or violence, you can—and should—just walk away. However, pink flags are slightly different; these issues are not entirely deal-breakers. For example, disagreeing about politics or religion can be difficult, but in many cases it is not an insurmountable obstacle to lifelong happiness.

First, do a little self-audit. Determine not only what pink and red flags your partner is showing you, but also how you actually feel about them. Figure out what, if any, you could get through, but be prepared for the idea that you might be able to get through a lot. Then talk openly and honestly with him about your concerns about your mismatched beliefs, their ongoing friendship with an ex, or anything else that could be a pink flag.

Wilson added that while some pink flags can be bypassed, some just can’t; this is normal. You may find that even after communication and a willingness to work through problems, the best response is to simply walk away.

Are pink flags evident in other kinds of relationships?

Pink flags can also appear in your friendships. If a friend is often unavailable, has mismatched values, or is torn between circles of friendship, those are pink flags, not necessarily red ones. You should talk to a friend if you feel like you’re being pushed away, ignored, or otherwise hurt, but if they’re abusive, selfish, put you in uncomfortable situations, or expose your secrets all over town, that’s a wake-up call. Revisit this friendship ASAP.

The same goes for work: spot the difference between pink and red flags in professional spaces. You can talk to your boss about how you have more free time, or about how you’re not a good fit for your job because those things fall into the pink category. If your boss controls your personal life, you have pay problems, you are subjected to violence or other inappropriate treatment, these are red flags. Consider looking for a new job.

It all boils down to a little rethinking of how you view your relationship. Not everything can be clearly divided into perfection and deal breaker. Some trouble is to be expected, but you don’t have to leave your relationship, friendship, or job without at least trying to discuss some of the most solvable issues first.


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