Where to Find Greeting Cards That Aren’t Sentimental, Clichéd, or Otherwise Annoying
Some families are greeting card families, meaning when an event happens, whether it’s a year (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.) or a milestone (graduation, wedding, new home, etc.), cards flood the mail box. As a member of the greeting card family, I appreciate receiving a letter letting me know that a loved one is thinking of me, celebrating with me, or sympathizing with me. However, as someone who buys a lot of postcards to reciprocate, I find the selection in most stores to be insufficient.
How to Find Greeting Cards You Really Like
In general, I find that most drugstore greeting cards fall into one of the following categories:
- Overly silly or sentimental to the point that my 11 year old would call it “cringing”.
- So rough it’s almost rough
- Desperate to be funny
- Oozing with cliches
I dreamed about postcards with a feeling somewhere between “Oh Happy Mother’s Day Mom” and “From the moment I was born you were everything to me…”
Also, live farting jokes can be funny; farting jokes on a greeting card are never funny.
And guess what? Not all dads fish. Not all fathers reach for the TV remote control.
By that point, I once bought my dad the same Father’s Day card three years in a row because it was the only one I liked at my local Walgreens. I suppose I could shop elsewhere, but I didn’t expect to be faced with the same choice every year. Plus, every other pharmacy or grocery store I’ve ever gone to has told the same story: stupid, rude, desperate, or beaten up.
And then one day, a friend of mine went through what I knew deserved more recognition and sympathy than sentimental, edgy, desperate, or cliché could convey. So I went to Etsy and found this card :
And all of a sudden… buying postcards was no longer a routine and more like an excuse to browse Etsy that I still find excuses for it. I like to support artists and small businesses online; I like to find more personalized messages; and I love the quality of every card I have bought.
Where to Find the Best Greeting Cards Online
To show you what’s possible, here’s an example of my recent card purchases:
- This greeting card is for my Costco-loving sister-in-law : “One minute you’re young and cool, the next you’re googling the best vacuum cleaners of 2022.”
- This birthday card is for a dear friend : “You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You’re jumping off a cliff, I’m yelling “Do somersaults!”
- This sweet card for my son’s teacher: “You are an amazing teacher. A teacher who cares, inspires and brings out the best in your students…”
- This 40th birthday card for a buddy , which poignantly read: “You are in your thirties; So yesterday.”
- Apparently I like to use the f-word when I’m really trying to convey the severity of the experience, because I posted a version of this Adoption. Ready. damn. Finally. A postcard to a friend after adopting a daughter from a foster family has been framed after years and numerous court delays due to COVID.
- Or maybe I just love to swear in general, because I sent this postcard to a new mother right after she gave birth: “ You are a complete badass .”
- I know this fish theme “Saint Carp; it’s your birthday card” seems to contradict everything I’ve said about bad jokes and clichés, except that it was for my brother-in-law, a fisheries research biologist, and importantly, I knew he’d love the art on the front. These things are so individual, and that’s the whole point.
- To prove that I’m not all swear and cheap , here’s a Mother’s Day card I chose for my mother-in-law this year: A phrase she often said: “No one loves you like your mom.”
Not only do I buy greeting cards on Etsy, I also look for other artists’ shops. I especially like Gray Day Studio (the “ I’m so happy about your birthday! ” card should always be at hand).
As I wrote this, I remembered that I had not sent a birthday card to a friend who had just signed a contract with a literary agent to sell his novel; so now she gets a ” This is next level shit ” card. Because hiring an agent is next level shit.
How to Get the Best Deals When Buying Greeting Cards Online
Yes, chances are you’ll pay a little more for these cards, especially if you buy them individually without planning ahead. For example, ” This. damn. Sucks. ” costs $6.50 plus shipping ($1 home). But I can easily spend $5.99 on a wacky card at Walgreens, so if I’m in a pinch and really only need one card for a particular occasion, I’m willing to eat that extra $1.50 to get the one I like. .
I try to be more strategic than that when I can. If I’m going to pay $5 or $6 for a card but get free shipping if I spend a certain amount, I’ll always see if I can save up more cards from the same store for other upcoming occasions. When in doubt, it never hurts to have a nice thank you card like this on hand (or buy a variety of packaging , if offered); you save on shipping, you support a small business owner, and you save yourself a last-minute trip to Walgreens (I don’t know why I pick on Walgreens so much).
Or just take absolutely cheap
If the cost of buying greeting cards online is too ridiculous or extravagant for you to even consider, I hear you (and I was you). But if you’re still a member of the greeting card family, you know that doesn’t exempt you from sending cards. If you’re on a budget, my best advice is to skip the weary and overpriced pharmacies and head straight to your local dollar store, where you can often get two for a dollar. Mostly they are unceremonious, but at least you have done your duty.
(Or just send dad the same card every year, as long as you both can stand it. It’s pretty funny.)