How to Date Your Old High School Crush (and Why You Should)

Dating in high school is hard. You have rampant hormones, an irresistible curiosity (combined with awe) for sex, lots of acne, and a shaky sense of yourself, the world, and your place in it. In this time of shifting self-esteem, it’s easy to think that the people you were epically in love with—the ones whose hands you looked longingly at biology notes, whose yearbook photos you memorized, and whose lockers you casually stalk—were far from yours. league.

Fast forward 15-20 years (give or take). Dating is still difficult, but you get the idea: Hey, I’m actually a trap. You are no longer that insecure teenager with little life experience and questionable confidence. You are a complete, fully formed adult who has had jobs, degrees, travel, career achievements, perhaps even marriages or children. And in the years since high school, you’ve learned that what you can offer another person is pretty cool, and you just might get that person you thought was out of reach when you were 16.

Now, if you’re happy with your current dating life, go ahead. (The same if you recently graduated from high school and have not accumulated the necessary time, distance and experience outside your hometown to return to it a form of poetic justice.) But if you have given yourself the opportunity to try the universe of fit singles in the “real world” (and found they were missing) maybe this is the right time to turn back the clock and see what your old love is up to.

Why You Should Date High School Lovers

Have you ever tried online, speed or blind dating? If yes, then you may have noticed it sucks. Sifting through stranger after stranger to find someone who is not only sane, but smart, trustworthy, loyal, and who shares your lifestyle, morals, and values ​​is a lot of work. People spend weeks, months and years of their lives on this pursuit. (Not to mention the sheer emotional damage.) That’s why it’s good to visit the hottie from your AP English class again.

They are verified . Nothing can replace the depth of your knowledge of the school hobby. You already know so much about them – where and how they grew up, the friends they choose, how they treat people, their outside interests, who they dated (and sometimes how they treated their ex after a breakup). You may even know their parents, siblings and, if you grew up together, what they were like in kindergarten . Private detectives cannot provide you with this level of information about your last Tinder match.

You have a shared history . Whether you’ve had a platonic friendship, a charged flirtation, or barely spoken to each other in a group, the fact remains that you have something in common. You had the same teachers, you went to the same football games, you walked down the same corridors. While this exposure immediately after high school may be limited, it can be wonderful to reconnect after a few years. (And even if it’s just one date, you’ll still have something to talk about.)

Mutual connections . Meeting the same people has its advantages. Not only do you know what kind of friends they have, but it makes conversation easier, fosters feelings of affection, and can make group social interaction easier.

How to date high school love

It takes nothing more than social media and basic Google search skills to find an old high school crush. But after you’ve done the necessary friending/following, likes, comments, and direct messaging, here are a few things to keep in mind when you do reconnect to IRL.

Manage your expectations . You may meet and find that your loved one is not as wonderful as you thought and has some problems. Maybe life has been hard and he is still a good person, but not the kind of person to be in a relationship with . You may find that the way they look or act decades later repels you and you are no longer attracted to who they have become. Or you can still think they’re great, but they don’t have the chemistry.

Be aware that this can bring up old insecurities . One of the great things about dating new people is that you can be your “new” self—someone who has grown and matured by leaps and bounds since adolescence. Sometimes reconnecting with the person who bullied you when you were 17 can bring you back to that insecure emotional world. Remember that these are just feelings and they won’t erase everything you’ve achieved since then.

Recognize that you may be more into the idea of ​​dating them than the reality . Your life circumstances, values, sense of humor or lifestyle may be too far apart to create a love union. And that’s okay. Now you can close those lingering feelings once and for all, with dignity and pride in how far you’ve come, and no more pesky “what ifs” burning a hole in the back of your mind.

Take advantage of the opportunities . Of course, it’s entirely possible that the person you dreamed about in high school is just as amazing as you thought; all you needed was the right time to reconnect. And whether you’re enjoying a short or long time together, you can walk away satisfied with your courage to rekindle the relationship, confident that you’ve been right all along.

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