Stop Giving “Shit Sandwich” Feedback (and What to Do Instead)
If you’ve ever had a manager, you’ve probably received feedback; feedback that could be delivered via a “shit sandwich” where negative feedback was packed between two layers of positive. (It’s also called a “praise sandwich,” which isn’t as fun to say.) This approach involves first praising the employee for some aspect of their job (the bottom slice of bread) and then criticizing them (the proverbial crap). , and round it off with another compliment or recognition of that employee’s worth (the top piece of bread).
The theory behind this common technique, popularized by the One Minute Manager , is that positive reinforcement adjacent to good-bad-good criticism helps the employee feel less attacked by the layer of corned beef criticism hidden in the middle. from those slices of rye. But while the apparent goal is to spare the person’s feelings and make the feedback more enjoyable, it often only succeeds in making the manager feel more comfortable, while leaving the recipient in a state of anxiety, defense, or total confusion. While this may work for some , it often backfires. Here’s why – and what to do instead.
people see it
For many, this isn’t their first time at the Shit Sandwich rodeo, and they’re already gearing up for it when you give the first compliment, which they basically turn off in anticipation of “bad news.”
It doesn’t seem real
When criticism is delivered neatly between two pieces of praise, it seems scripted, which can make compliments seem superficial, necessary additions, rather than the truth. Once they discover the presence of the formula, it is easy for the listener to feel that the compliments were simply made to fit the equation, i.e. fake.
People focus on the negative
Great job today! The presentation dragged on a little longer than necessary – we will try to shorten it in the future. But the information was very useful for the team.
What did you take away from the suggestions above – that you did a great job, or that you apparently chatted for too long? While the seemingly overconfident among us could filter out the “it was boring” slice of the sandwich, the more natural human tendency is to ignore the bullshit on both sides and focus solely on failure instead.
Or they don’t even register a negative
Sometimes a shit sandwich works so well that it completely hides the feedback. When Ayelet Fischbach, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago, conducted an experiment in which half of her class was asked to give negative feedback to the other half, the criticized students were left with the feeling that they were actually doing well. . As Fischbach explained, “negative feedback is often hidden and not very specific.”
What to do instead
Feedback is a necessary part of growth and development and must be provided in order for people to meet expectations, not to mention improve their professional skills. So how should it be given? Here are some alternatives.
On an episode of the Gray Matter podcast, as reported by Inc. , Google CTO Sarah Clutterbuck laid out her winning formula for providing clear feedback.
- Pay attention to the behavior that is holding the employee back.
- Explain why this behavior causes problems.
- Ask the person to reflect the importance of their behavior.
- Finally, let them figure out how to fix it.
The example Clutterbuck shared started with him telling an employee, “You often get orders of magnitude wrong in your estimates,” and then detailed the consequences (e.g., canceling a PR campaign, renewing support for an old app). After the question: “Do you understand why this is so important?” and while waiting for them to demonstrate this understanding, you end by asking, “What do you propose to prevent this from happening in the future?” This shifts the responsibility for changing behavior back to the employee, which is more likely to be effective than simply being asked to follow their boss’s suggestions.
Feedback Recommendations
Here are some additional guidelines to help us provide feedback that is most likely to lead to the desired results.
Ask if they are open to feedback: Of course, some feedback must be provided regardless of the other person’s willingness to take it into account. But if it’s not urgent, try saying, “I’ve noticed a couple of things about your workflow that I’d like to share with you. Are you open to feedback? According to organizational psychologist Adam Grant , when people take responsibility for receiving feedback, they become less defensive.
Explain your intentions (and proceed from the place of care): Expressing a sincere desire to help someone through feedback can go a long way in getting the person to take it more constructively. Let them know that you are giving feedback because you believe in them and their potential. According to UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine , “In one study, researchers made feedback 40% more effective by prefixing it with the following phrase: ‘ I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you you can justify them .” ”
Give feedback in private : If possible, avoid giving feedback when the person is surrounded by colleagues. In addition to the potential feelings of surprise, inadequacy, or failure they may experience, the employee will also have to contend with embarrassment.
Focus on observed behavior, not the person as a whole: Give feedback about the behavior you witnessed, not about the person as a whole. Describe details (“I noticed that there were a few spelling mistakes in the presentation”) rather than general statements (“I noticed that your work has been sloppy lately”).
Encourage open discussion : Feedback should not be a one-way street. Always invite the interlocutor to the answer and encourage an honest conversation. Acknowledge that this is your interpretation and express curiosity about their interpretation. “Is there anything I might be missing?” and “What is your perception of this?” can help spark a frank discussion.
Watch your non-verbal expressions : remember that our words are only part of the message; our faces and bodies are transmitting information all the time we speak. Giving feedback with smiles, nods, and open body language (eg, not crossed arms) will make the recipient feel better than if the same information were conveyed through frowns and slitted eyes .
Give True and Frequent Feedback: In his book Principles for Dealing with a Changing World Order: Why Nations Succeed and Fail , Ray Dalio, founder of the world’s largest hedge fund, Bridgewater Associates, talks about “constant, clear, and honest feedback.” combined with discussion and open-mindedness will achieve better learning. “Giving that kind of feedback all the time is the most effective way to learn.”
And for those of us on the receiving end, he has this advice: “Realize that you have nothing to fear from the truth. Understanding, accepting and knowing how to effectively deal with reality are critical to success.”