A Guide to Child Culture for Out-of-Touch Adults: Why Do Assholes Get Mad at Being “blushed”?
Adults love nothing more than getting mad at movies made for kids, but this week’s cultural bickering over Pixar’s innocent teen movie Blush is as ridiculous as dressing up as a clown on purpose.
Pixar Turning Red is controversial for some reason
Pixar’s ” Blushing ” has become an unexpected culture war conflict point since its release on Disney+ on March 11. Animated teen movies are a coming-of-age story in which puberty is symbolically represented by the protagonist Mei Mei transforming into a red panda. It’s charming and a bit like The Metamorphosis by Kafka, but Mei Mei’s father doesn’t beat her with a cane, and her sister doesn’t feed her scraps of spoiled food. Either way, kids and critics seem to enjoy the film as it tackles the themes of community and family, its thoughtful, candid portrayals of puberty, and its tender take on the moodiness of young teenagers . But the assholes of our country have big problems with the ” Blushing”. First, it’s about a Chinese woman , who is a girl , so according to a (still edited) review by Cinemablend , the film “risks alienating viewers who can’t find their way into the story.” According to another variety of assholes, Turning Red is too old for kids, as he admits that 13 is the age at which many teenage girls begin their periods and become interested in boys. According to a RottenTomatoes commentator, it’s ” crazy out of place”. Menstruation? Where is my fainting couch?
What makes seventh graders cringe?
If you have the guts to really test how lame you are, check out The 7th Grade Chronicles. This TikTok account belongs to a high school teacher who asks his students thought provoking questions. The video, which has gone viral, asks: “What makes you cringe at your parents or guardians?” According to 13-year-olds , parents are ashamed to say “this is tough”, take selfies in the mirror, listen to Katy Perry and watch NCIS . Also: Parents/guardians should never put up signs that say “Live, Laugh, Love” or call themselves “Gangster”. I largely agree, but I would like to remind all seventh graders that their children will have something to laugh about in 25 or so years.
What the hell is clowncore and why is it so cool?
Every generation ends with an unfortunate fashion trend that defines it, whether it’s 70s disco-cocaine chic or 90s ethnic tattoos and flannel. I hope the popularity of “clowncore” continues to grow so that the current generation of young people will have their own really ridiculous fashion trend. This proves my point that they are better than previous generations in every way, down to how ridiculous their style choices are. Clowcore is, you guessed it, defined by big, bright primary colors and exaggerated makeup. How clowns dress. Huge shoes are optional, and neither is carrying 156 of your friends in a small car for a trip to the mall. Check out the TikTok tag if you want to see a bunch of clowns.
Paris Hilton: Fury in the Metaverse
I thought it over very carefully and decided that it would be best for everyone if some supernatural force sucked all the oxygen out of the atmosphere so that we all suffocated in our sleep. A lot of things led to the conclusion that humanity is a mistake: the Blushing controversy, the fact that seventh graders think I cringe because I love Katy Perry’s “Fireworks” – but the last straw was Paris Hilton. I think the former famous Hilton DJed at the Sandbox-sponsored South by Southwest party, which is sort of a social game using cryptocurrency to create NFTs and Web 3.0 in Meta. – labs or some other nonsense. Maybe I could handle the barrage of buzzwords and nonsense, but then Paris Hilton said to the crowd, ” Fury in the Metaverse !” and that was it. Last straw. I’m sorry humanity, but we’re done. In an ideal world, “Rage in the Metaverse!” would be the very last words ever spoken by a human voice.
Viral Video of the Week: Space Telescope Aligned
Perhaps calling for a demise over a Paris Hilton DJ set is a bit extreme. There is always a force that balances the scales, right? While looking for one of them, I came across this week’s viral video! This is a livestream from YouTuber Dr. Becky , in which a young astrophysicist’s infectious excitement over the successful deployment of the James Webb Space Telescope’s mirror array restored some of my faith in humanity. Unlike NFTs and cryptocurrencies, space telescopes that capture infrared light so we can learn how the universe began are a good way to use technology. I’m glad that youtubers are sharing videos about this, so I guess I’ll let humanity continue to exist. At the moment. But you are all aware.