Do Vibrators Really Desensitize You?

Vibrators owe Sex and the City two things: the generally accepted normalization and, unfortunately, the spread of some scary-sounding myths. In a now-infamous 1998 HBO episode, a short-tempered Charlotte confides in a deep-thinking Carrie: “I think I broke my vagina… with a rabbit [vibrator]. I’m afraid that if I keep using it, I’ll never be able to enjoy sex with a man again.”

Well, Char, it’s time to bust the myths, and almost 15 years later, it’s worth repeating: no matter how often you use it, you don’t have to worry about becoming completely addicted to a sex toy to push yourself to the finish line. and neither toy time nor energetic solo sessions will make your beats less sensitive – at least not for long.

The myth of masturbation

This myth is frightening: overindulgence in vibrators or other toys will desensitize you to the point where you develop a tolerance. Soon, you’ll be burning through a series of increasingly powerful vibrators as you desperately chase your next big ‘O’. In this scenario, you won’t be able to do anything manually, let alone a partner. Even from a financial point of view, this is terrible – vibrators are not cheap. Intimately and romantically, this is also terrible. Luckily, it’s not actually life threatening.

“This problem is extremely common,” said Matt Lachman, board certified sex therapist and owner of Cleveland Sex Therapy . He noted that people with vaginas who use vibrators do worry about losing sensation, becoming numb, or even becoming “addicted” to their devices, but he has noticed that these fears have become less of an issue over the past decade or so. since open discussion of sexuality has become more popular.

Jenny Skyler, Ph.D. and resident sex therapist at Adam and Eve , agreed, telling Lifehacker, “I don’t know how widespread it is when the Internet debunks this myth.” However, there are still a lot of people who google “dead vagina”, so let’s dive into that. Discussion, I mean.

Alexandra Fine, CEO and co-founder of Dame , sympathizes with the restless and wants to help them learn. She said, “The big question we always get at Dame is, ‘Am I going to get addicted to my vibrator?’ From a scientific point of view, the answer is no – it does not meet the criteria for what an addiction is. However, if many people ask the same question, it is important that we answer it correctly.”

Can you use the vibrator too much?

There is some truth to the myth that too much vibration or stimulation can numb your private parts, but if it does, it is only temporary.

“Essentially, the truth is, yes, your nerve endings can be desensitized with overstimulation at the moment,” Skyler said. “So if you’re using very powerful stimulation—like a very powerful vibrator—then your nerve endings say, ‘Wow, overload.’ This, of course, can happen, but in a few minutes they will recalibrate. The myth that your nerve endings will be consigned to oblivion – gone forever – is this.

Lachman agreed that some numbness can be expected with overuse, especially if you use high settings for your toy or fiddle with it all the time , but likened the numbness to the temporary sensation of a body part falling asleep. “He will be back in 10 minutes or so,” he assured us.

Lachman added that one caveat is worth noting: if you masturbate solely with vibration, your body may get used to it and expect to be freed from that method alone, “so when you have sex with a partner or masturbate without a vibrator, it can be a little difficult reach that orgasm.”

This temporary loss of sensation can also affect people with penises, especially if they squeeze their hand very hard for self-pleasure. (Please don’t forget the lube.)

How to restore sensitivity

In addition to using lubricant to reduce friction, there are several ways you can avoid temporary numbness or bounce back after it. For example, use a lower vibrator setting, “instead of just putting that shit on 10 and heading into town,” Lachman advised.

Skyler recommends cylindrical vibrators, which are usually smaller and have only one speed setting. If you experience numbness during intimacy with a partner, she advises taking breaks as needed. (We’re sure you can think of other activities to keep you busy while you wait for your nerve endings to calm down.)

Change things when you can. Fine explained, “If we always masturbate in the same way with the same products, we will begin to create a solid path to pleasure that can become a limitation. The concept of “fetish” is a good example of this, because if you really need a feather to have an orgasm, without that feather you may not experience pleasure. If we become so specific that we can only experience pleasure in one way, this can be problematic, so it is important to have different vibrators and connect with our bodies in order to enjoy in different ways.”

Katerina Lin, head of luxury sex lifestyle brand JimmyJane, suggested that the easiest way to avoid the problem is to listen to your body. “Start by playing slowly with yourself. Really understand yourself,” she said. Figure out how you react and experiment with different pressures and tempos. If you are too accustomed to certain products or models, there are many options. ( Jimmy Jane , she notes, aims to make toys that mimic human touch more closely than toys made from other materials, so maybe that would make a difference).

Lachman also stressed the importance of being open with his partner. Explain that you are using a toy in your private time, so it may not be easy for you to cum while having sex with them. An honest discussion beforehand can keep them from feeling bad in the moment (although, as we know , sex should be about pleasure, not chasing orgasm). And hey, maybe they’ll even come down to bring the device to bed so you can both enjoy it.