How to Have More Sex
You are a busy person. You have a job, maybe more than one. You have family, friends, hobbies, worries, and all sorts of unique responsibilities. It can be hard to find the time to fit it all in, but you still need to take the time to dig in if you’ve caught the drift here.
Whether you’re single or living together, here are a few strategies to help you have sex more often.
Get yourself in the right space
Is your self-confidence getting in the way? If yes, then above all remember that you are cool and beautiful just the way you are! However, you can use this quest to have more sex as a good springboard for making other positive changes in your life.
“You have to [feel] as good as you can,” said New York-based artist Sacklord , who said he set his sex record last summer. “You have to be in good shape. You must look good. You must be socially active. You have to do something with your life.” Basically, he said, you can’t be “a pathetic piece of shit that no one wants to talk to.”
You probably don’t! However, the message here is clear: sort yourself out in other areas of your life before seeking satisfaction in more frequent sex. You don’t have to have a perfect life, but you do need the confidence that comes from feeling like you’re in control. Become the best version of yourself to feel at peace when you are alone and you will attract more people who want to be with you.
Be alright in loneliness or sexual drought
Sexual drought is a thing for couples and singles alike. Sometimes you just get quiet, and that’s okay. At the very least, it will help you appreciate intimacy more once you get it back.
“The best life hack is to be happy with yourself. If your whole approach to dating fills some kind of hole [because] you come from some sort of incompleteness, you stay that way,” Sacklord said. “But if you have a sense of completeness within yourself and you don’t really need anyone, then you become more valuable and have something to offer because you come from a place of certainty.”
This is all honest and true, but what about when you are not so much on the hunt as in a stable – albeit stagnant – relationship?
Talk to your partner about wanting to do this more often
ABC baby: Stay connected.
If you’re in a relationship and don’t think your romp frequency is sufficient, you can try to just have some sex time on your partner, but these efforts can backfire. You have to get to the heart of the problem first, which means you may need to have an uncomfortable conversation. Of course, it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, but if you’re not used to talking about these things, it might be. I would like to explore options for building momentum. Rely on (honest) flattery: Tell them that you enjoy being intimate with them and want to do it more often so you can work together to find a schedule and routine that works for both of you.
If they are not interested in sex, talk about why. Help them help themselves. If that doesn’t work, more serious conversations are needed – the issue here could be that the two of you aren’t super sexually compatible, or that other parts of the relationship are falling apart. And if you want more sex but don’t want to have it with your partner, don’t lie about it. Your key to more sex may be to talk about starting a relationship or break it off and look elsewhere. (In this case, refer to steps 1 and 2 above and start over.)
Take part in the sexual quest
If you talk to your partner and find that you agree with the mission to do better, great. The next step is to figure out what it looks like in your busy life. Planning things like this isn’t exactly sexy, but it’s something you might have to do.
Set aside a specific time for this special activity, and then stick to your plan. Soon it will become less of a regimented thing than something you look forward to as a natural part of your week.
On the other hand, if you are single, you still need to complete the quest. Get ready before the party. Pack your condoms. Make sure your bed is made and your house is clean. Get tested regularly. Create a space and situation that welcomes the possibility of limitless connections in your life.