How to Buy an Umbrella That Doesn’t Suck

The vast majority of umbrellas are bought in a panic in pharmacies or on the street during a sudden downpour. Therefore, the vast majority of umbrellas are bought after doing exactly zero research. This is how we get a collection of ragged cheap umbrellas, which at the first sign of a gust of wind turn into a useless structure of bent metal and torn fabric.

I mean, you’re buying umbrellas the wrong way. Nobody says you shouldn’t buy a cheap emergency umbrella when you need it, but if you think all umbrellas are cheap and almost useless, you’re wrong. Given that the umbrella is over three thousand years old , it’s reasonable to say that we as a species have figured out how to make a damn good umbrella – you just have to know what to look for.

How to choose a good umbrella?

Here are some basic items to consider before purchasing your next umbrella before you need it:

The size

Umbrellas work by creating a canopy over you that blocks the rain and throws it to the sides. The longer your umbrella, the better it will be at this – we all know what it’s like to use a tiny umbrella that ends up getting our feet and pants wet because it doesn’t give us enough dry space. The ideal width is about 40-50 inches from tip to tip – this will keep you dry without turning you into the God of All Umbrellas, knocking smaller creatures out of the way as you race down the street. You can even upgrade to a golf umbrella , which is generally larger than regular umbrellas, but they’re only really useful if you’re lugging around luggage (or golf clubs, you know) as they’re designed to give you a large dry area. area around you. However, walking down the street with a golf umbrella will quickly turn society against you.

Weight

It’s more of a personal thing, but holding a heavy umbrella for long periods of time can be annoying, and if you’re going to be carrying a bag or other items at the same time, a heavy umbrella can be a problem. . Look for something that weighs two pounds or less for optimal comfort. If you like to combine a workout with walking on a rainy day, be sure to look for a Soviet-era umbrella made of cast iron.

ventilation

Look for an umbrella with a double-layer canopy with ventilation slots. If you’ve ever gone out into a storm and watched in horror as your umbrella flipped over in the wind, you’ve probably used the cheap, single-layer, non-ventilated version. These vents allow the wind to pass through the canopy, reducing the chances of turning inside out, while the double layer still keeps the rain out.

Stick vs folding

An umbrella that doesn’t fold or fold is known as a cane umbrella and it’s your best bet. A cane umbrella will be the most durable kind because it has fewer possible points of failure – any joint or loop on the handle is a potential weak point that can bend in strong winds. On the other hand, a folding umbrella offers the convenience and ease of storage in a bag or backpack, so you can sacrifice durability for portability.

canopy material

First, make sure your canopy material is tight and tight when the umbrella is open. Loose, wrinkled material will not last long in the wind and will not allow rainwater to drain effectively. The fabric or material the canopy is made from also matters – the best material for an umbrella is a fabric called pongee, which can be expensive but offers a soft, waterproof material that won’t shrink. Nylon or polyester are also good choices, although nylon can shrink in wet conditions. And while you might think that plastic, the material of the future, is perfect, it actually breaks down quite quickly, leading to ruptures and deformation.

Shaft and ribs

The construction of your umbrella is best made from fiberglass, and the fewer seams or joints, the better. If the stem is a single piece and the ribs fold minimally, your umbrella will be heavier and less foldable, but much stronger. Plastic umbrellas won’t last long, and metal umbrellas, contrary to common sense, are prone to bending, so fiberglass is the best choice. Another thing to consider is the number of ribs: your standard umbrella will have eight ribs, which is enough to give the canopy some strength and structure, but an umbrella with 16 ribs will be even stronger. But that’s not the only problem: a 24-rib umbrella can withstand a hurricane, but it’s going to be damn heavy.

How to choose a compact umbrella

Sure, it’s nice to have the big, durable umbrella favored by billionaires in your umbrella stand in your home, but when you’re traveling or there’s a day when it might rain and you don’t want to take that huge contraption with you all day for no reason, you need a more portable umbrella. While its foldable design and small canopy mean a portable umbrella will never be as good as its larger cousins, there are several ways to choose the best one:

Ribs

Look for an extra rib – a model with a ninth rib, like the Samsonite Winguard , doesn’t add much weight to a compact umbrella, but makes it stronger than a goose.

canopy

You’ll be hard pressed to find a 40″ flashlight in a handheld, but look for 36″ or 37″ models that are about as big as you can get. This sacrifices some portability as the resulting umbrella will likely be about 12 inches long.

Balance and weight

Compact cane umbrellas often feel unbalanced because all the weight is on the top. It’s hard to judge this without physically inspecting the umbrella, but it’s something worth looking at in reviews.

Your choice of umbrella is not important… until it suddenly becomes decisive . Instead of shopping for your next umbrella while you’re standing in the aisle of the nearest CVS, take a few minutes to shop and pick an umbrella that will last you through the rainy days ahead.

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