How to Avoid TSA Marking According to TS-Motherfucking-A
Flying can be annoying, especially during the holidays, and even worse if you are TSA tagged. Even if you follow all of their many rules, you can still get tagged, which can be uncomfortable at best and ruin your day at worst.
The TSA appears to have developed a light sense of humor, which means they have put together a handy resource called How Not to Be ‘That Guy’ at an Airport Checkpoint. Some of their tips on how not to be that guy include: arriving early; checking bags if possible; organize the contents of your carry-on baggage, or at least not overload it to the point that it explodes the moment a TSA agent opens it; knowledge of the rules for handling liquids that you can take with you in your carry-on baggage ; and have all the necessary documents on hand during the verification process.
These are recommendations for a more comfortable stay at the airport. However, there are a few more things you should definitely avoid unless you are a fan of being singled out for extra viewing.
Packing coffee beans into luggage
While there are no rules against packing coffee powder or beans in your baggage, you may not want to do so as it may compromise security due to the coffee being used to hide the smell of other prohibited substances .
If the coffee turns out to be a souvenir that you want to bring with you from your travels and you want to avoid the hassle of flying, one solution might be to send it back. I’ve done something similar in the past when I was shopping for groceries that couldn’t be carried in my carry-on baggage, and the check-in fees ended up being more than the cost of shipping it home.
Carry a lot of cash
If you are flying overseas, there are rules about how much cash you can take with you. If you are flying domestically, although these rules do not apply, TSA reserves the right to ask you how much money you are carrying and why. They can also engage law enforcement if they believe the money comes from criminal activity. If you carry a lot of money with you during the flight, be aware that this may prevent you from completing additional screening.
Failure to comply with stupid, but clearly formulated rules
TSA rules are weird, arbitrary and subject to change. This is a matter of course. However, as strange as some of them are, not following their rules is a good way to distract yourself from watching.
Whether it’s not following the rules about what you can carry in your carry-on baggage versus your baggage, or not following the directions at the checkpoint, this is a good way to get a stamp. Some of the rules are uninteresting, but they don’t distract you either, so be sure to read the rules before getting in line at the airport.
I look too tense
Again, traveling is stressful, especially when you consider all the strange, ever-changing rules. However, letting your stress show up too much will also lead to being flagged for review . So, no matter how unpleasant the process may be, take it easy.
Too many complaints
Complaining about the TSA verification process is a perfectly normal instinct for many of us. However, according to a confidential TSA document that was received several years ago by the Intercept , excessive complaints about the verification process are one of the behaviors that can get in your way.
Keep these (incredibly well-founded) process complaints to yourself, at least until you go through the security system. Then release the air while you are out of earshot of TSA agents.
Whistling, exaggerated yawning, etc.
In the same TSA document, he lists “whistling when approaching the verification process” as a red flag, along with “exaggerated yawning” and “hand-wringing”. One can only assume that they collected these red flags after watching cartoons on Saturday morning. However, if you feel the odd urge to whistle during a test, do your best to prevent this from happening.
If you end up getting tagged despite trying your best to follow all of the rules, just understand that most of the reasons they might incapacitate you are complete bullshit and that you probably didn’t. nothing wrong. Unfortunately, this is only part of the flight.