What to Do If Someone Gives You Unsolicited Advice at the Gym
Tell me if this story sounds familiar: You are minding your own business in the gym, doing your regular workout, when a stranger comes up to you and says that you are doing it wrong. In some cases, a stranger is a random nobody; in other cases, they look like experienced athletes or imagine themselves as coaches. Should you listen to them?
We talked about this situation from the other side, about when you can fix someone’s shape in the gym . The answer is almost never. Maybe they have a good reason for doing what they are doing; It is unlikely that you, the casual stranger, are more knowledgeable about someone’s exercise routine than they are. If you want to befriend this person, have a respectful conversation, and see if they are open to feedback, we have some tips on this in our previous post. Otherwise, shut up.
But what about getting unsolicited advice?
When you should definitely listen
The only time you need to listen is when an employee asks you about gym rules or equipment use. Whether they want you to keep yoga mats in the yoga room, or make rack pulls with these barbells instead of those , these are just the rules that you must follow. Treat you with courtesy and respect, even if you disagree; they have the right to enforce their rules.
In theory, you should also listen if someone warns you of an imminent security threat. But people sometimes get obsessed with the idea that regular exercise is a trauma that is waiting in the wings, so be guided by your judgment. If they remind you that you have overlooked an important safety feature on the machine, thank them and set the safety measures correctly. But if they act like your knees are about to explode because they are pushing forward from your toes, this is not an emergency .
When you must question advice
Let’s consider a situation where someone gives advice on what you are doing wrong, or how you could do it better. They want you to use less weight, or move more slowly, or tilt your legs in a different direction, or lock your elbows, or not lock your elbows. Such things.
Before worrying about what comes out of this person’s mouth, consider who he is and whether he is the person whose experience you value. If you didn’t seek Joe K. Random’s advice on overhead presses, why would you follow this advice just because it was dictated to you?
On the other hand, if I’m in a powerlifting gym and a trainer I respect gives advice on my deadlift, I’ll probably listen.
In some gyms, personal trainers try to raise their business by giving free advice to people who exercise. Just because a person is certified as a trainer does not mean that their behavior is better than yours, especially if they have no idea about your goals or where you are in your training program. Bottom line: Treat free advice as legally as you do the advice you pay for.
What to say if you’re not interested
If you want to quickly end this interaction, answer with one of the following options, and then noticeably shift the focus away from that person (reinsert your headphones, check your phone, start the next dialing).
- “Thank you.”
- “IN ORDER.”
- “I’ll think about it”.
- * nods *
You don’t really need to heed their advice. You just give a non-confrontational answer and then return to your case. This is the gym, the equivalent of the “fog” or “gray rock” strategy for working with overly critical people.
What to say if you think they can understand something
On the other hand, you might be wondering what they recommend. Remember, just because they say you are doing something wrong does not mean that you are actually doing something wrong. But they can provide valuable insight, especially if you know they are an experienced athlete or coach. So you can dig further by asking the following questions:
- “Why do you recommend this? How is this different from what I am doing? “
- “Oh, interesting. Do you do that? “(And then move on to asking about other parts of their training or experience that you find more interesting.)
- “So I’m doing something different for reason X, but I’m curious why you do it your way …”
Just like the person should have gotten to know you and your goals before asking if you want advice, these answers help start a conversation and build rapport. I would recommend doing this if you want to be on good terms with the person who approached you, or if you are really interested in his advice.
As you talk, remember that there are many ways to get stronger, and even if they have done good things themselves, that doesn’t mean their advice is always good. You can talk to you and decide to keep doing what you want to do, or gather more information on the topic after you leave the gym.
What if you just got sick of this shit
In a bad mood? Are you constantly getting bad advice? Do you know for sure that the person is complete shit? You don’t have to walk the big road.
- “I know what I’m doing, thanks.”
- “I pay the coach for advice on lifting. You are not my coach. “
- Maintain eye contact while doing the exact opposite of their advice.
And a bonus if they work as a trainer at this gym: after you finish your workout, complain to the gym manager about the unprofessional behavior of their staff.