Is Your Child Ready for a Treat Without You?

It’s that time of year again. To help your kids brainstorm, pick and get their own costumes, change sleeves, pull on a belt, draw a sword, take roughly one billion shots and then … let them play around without you! ?

Whether you like it or not, there will come a time when our precious little lion cubs and Yoda cubs will become blood-soaked Grim Reapers that rival us in height – and they will ask to trick us into keeping up with us to make sure they say thank you. … But how do you know if they are ready? Here are some factors to consider.

Your child’s age (and motivation)

Some experts in the field of education say that 9 years – it’s quite an adult age, to deal with alone, while some do not recommend it until then, until they are 13 years old. However, four years is a big difference for preschool age; how to narrow it down? Dr. Rosina McAlpine, CEO of Win Win Parenting, told PopSugar : “While there is no single definitive ‘appropriate’ or ‘safe’ age for kids to go joke or treat themselves, which applies to all kids under all circumstances, many parents are considering letting their children learn on their own … between the ages of 10 and 12. “

Kimberly Bury, LPC, a therapist in New Jersey , notes: “It’s important to talk to your child to understand why he wants to cheat with his friends, and to assess if this is theirs or their friends’s urge (peer pressure) … … »If their friends want more than they want, we may need to help them come up with an excuse to refuse the invitation and come up with alternative plans.

Neighborhood

Will there be an area where your kids will be entertained in one long cul-de-sac where you could possibly squint and see them from afar? Or is it a network of winding streets that includes a main road that they have to cross in the dark? Do you know a lot of families living in houses around you and is the area well lit or is it a black hole until a car drives down the street?

Consider the layout, lighting, visibility, your familiarity with the tenants and the number of other children who will be in the same location.

Your child’s maturity level (and life experience)

Does your child volunteer for homework, follow rules consistently, and rarely get into trouble? A child who has demonstrated a strong commitment to doing the right thing may be mature enough to cheat or cheat without adult supervision. Likewise, do they stay at home alone for short periods of time, go alone with friends, or ride their bicycles short distances for group outings without supervision?

“The signs of maturity can be as simple as making the right decisions about your peers and the ability to follow general safety rules, such as crossing the street at night,” Beri adds.

Who do they go with

As with much of what happens in (pre) adolescence, the omnipotent question must be asked: who else will be there? (Did you just remember how your parents asked you about this? Because I knew for sure.) Do you know other children with whom they plan to cheat or treat – and are they guilty, or acting on the naughty side? Will there be any older kids among them that could lead them to, uh, questionable activities that are optimally performed under cover of the night without parental supervision? Pay attention to your instincts if the answers to any of these questions get you thinking.

Establish ground rules

If you decide that your not-so-young child is ready to persuade friends, be sure to discuss in detail how to act in different scenarios from a safety point of view. Learn basic rules such as curfews, geographic settings, using the friend system, and setting up a home base to return to if someone gets lost (and of course, let them know that you will be tracking them if they have a cell phone or GPS device). If they have a phone, set an arrival time. Ask what they would do if a stranger invited them to the car or home, or if they separated from the group. Their answers will provide insight into their ability to stay safe if something goes wrong.

Finally, consider yourself

Do you have a hunch that this will be the last year that your child will tolerate your lagging behind his group, and next year they will tell you a firm “no” that you will not have the opportunity to argue? If you feel the end of an era is near, we implore you to do what could be your final turn around nabe with pumpkin ale in hand, cheerful parenting crew in tow and crispy leaves under your feet while you relive the pure happiness of being a toddler. Halloween, just for an hour or two.

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