How to Talk to Children About Religion When You Don’t Know What to Say
“What is God? What happens when we die? Why don’t we go to church like grandparents? »Regardless of whether you are religious or not, the answers to unexpected questions from children about faith can take you by surprise. Luckily, author and parenting expert Wendy Thomas Russell has already had this experience and has some helpful tips to share. Listen to the latest episode of The Upgrade to hear Wendy discuss the best approach and mentality when discussing different religions with her children, how to help children understand the difference between belief and fact or fiction, and the ideal age to start discussing the concept of faith.
Wendy is a former journalist and founder of the independent book publisher Brown Paper Press, and author of Relax, It’s Just God: How And Why Talk To Your Children About Religion If You Are Not a Believer , and the award-winning ParentShift: Ten Universal Truths That will change the way you raise your children .
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Highlights from this week’s series
Wendy, on the importance of childbirth when it comes to talking with children about religion:
I realized that this is not really what you tell them, especially when they are very young. It’s not about what you tell them about religion, but how you say it. This is your tone. It’s your tone of neutrality and just dispassion to be able to talk about it openly and without, you know, some big baggage or something that just seems tense and tense and like … you know, “I was traumatized … this, and I don’t want to talk about it. ” And I show it in every possible way, using my tone of voice and body language. And I think it’s more like “Oh yeah. So let’s talk about this, you know, look at that symbol over there. Do you know what it is? Oh, this is the Star of David. And let me tell you, you know, this is a symbol of a religion called Judaism … “and talking about it that way, even when it gets a little difficult, even when you talk about things like heaven, hell and and you know, some the nuances of religion that might be a little more uncomfortable while still trying to create a tone of neutrality just says a lot.
Wendy, on How to Teach Children the Concept of Faith and Religious Faith:
[This] game seems to be based on the very basic idea that children cannot talk about religion until they understand what faith is, why it differs from fact, and why it differs from fiction. And so I made this little game called fiction or belief, and I played it with my daughter many times when she was much younger, and it’s a really wonderful way to make them feel the difference between these three things … you enter the idea that fact is true and fiction is something false. And faith is something that some people believe, while others believe that it is not true. So it looks like an opinion. And then I said something like, “The sky is blue,” and she said “fact,” and I said “true,” and then I said, “The earth is pink,” and she said, “fiction.” And then I said, “Brussels sprouts are delicious,” and she said, “Vera.”
Wendy, on how to find the right age to start talking to your kids about religion:
I think I have two answers because I don’t think there is necessarily one perfect answer. First, you can wait while they bring the issue up. In my experience, you should have an answer ready. So maybe you think about it ahead of time, and then when they bring it up, you can say, “Okay, I’m so glad you brought this up, let’s talk about it.” You could do it. Or you can start as soon as they understand the difference between fiction and faith. That’s why this game is so fun to play that it’s probably four years old, and they kind of take an interest in things like, you know, supernatural and such big topics, I mean, I feel like it’s going on. being four to five years old will be kind of the best time, but it may be a little earlier, or maybe a little later. And I think you kind of evaluate the child, and he is also in some way interested in this. This is why I don’t think there is a perfect answer, but I think that at this age it is really good. You don’t want to wait too long, because I’ll tell you from experience that they stop listening to you at about 12. You no longer influence them.
For more of Wendy’s great advice on how to talk to kids about religion, we recommend listening to the entire episode.