COVID Costumes Are Not Funny, and Other Fake Outfits to Avoid This Halloween

It’s high time to face the dreaded seasonal question: Who will I become on Halloween? The guide below is designed to help you avoid some of the most common Halloween costume mistakes and give you tips on how to truly impress guests at the upcoming Halloween Social / Apple Bob-a-Thon event.

Avoid “offensive”, “funny” costumes.

You have the right to wear any Halloween costume (as long as you comply with local indecent exposure laws), but I’m sure you’re a good person too and don’t want to look like an asshole. Therefore, I am sure that you want to be sensitive to the feelings of other people, which means that you must be aware of the meaning of what you are wearing.

The easiest way to avoid cultural appropriation and / or any kind of ism is not to dress like someone outside of your ethnic or cultural group. If you absolutely must dress like a member of a group you don’t belong to, make sure your outfit fits the character and not a set of stereotypes. A white dude dressed like El Santo because he is a big fan of the legendary wrestler is very different from dressing like ” Tequila Shooter Boyfriend.”

If your costume is “funny” because it makes fun of something in a group of people you don’t belong to, imagine trying to justify it in front of a member of that group. Would you like to explain why this “lost puppy” costume is fun for a fat elderly man who has just lost his dog?

I’m sure you know that under no circumstances should you use a black, brown, yellow or red face. But a green face is normal.

If you are reading this and thinking, “Well, these people shouldn’t be that sensitive,” and you have a half smirk on your face, great. Wear whatever you want; I am not the police. But don’t be surprised if you are no longer invited to see decent people.

Don’t wear a COVID suit

This year, many people are going to dress like the COVID virus, or a sexual hand sanitizer, or a sexual vaccine . Don’t be one of them. It’s weak, predictable, and not funny, but that’s what an unfunny person would do to try to be funny. But it’s not really funny. About five million people died. Show some respect.

Be careful with political costumes.

No matter where you are on the political spectrum, wearing a political costume on Halloween makes you look odd, like the person who yells at CNN.

Ask yourself if you really need to make a political statement on Halloween. If the answer is yes, OK. Fine. Do it. But at least know your audience. Wearing a Trump suit and saying “don’t you miss me yet?” the sign might make you party life at the Okefenokee Swamp Monster Spooktacular , but it’s practically an act of aggression in Los Angeles.

Avoid outdated suits.

There was a time when it was fun to dress up for Carol Baskin from The Tiger King . This was the last Halloween (although it would be funnier if Halloween felt in March 2020). A year later, no one can remember that distant past (even if Netflix somehow made Tiger King 2 ). So keep your gear up to date and links up to date.

I make an exception for pop culture costumes that are at least 30 years out of date. I fully support wearing the Nancy Kerrigan suit, the “SkyLab Protection” helmet, or the number six suit from The Prisoner, which is precisely matched to the screen . You’ll spend all of Halloween explaining your costume to perplexed people who think you’re a nerd, but it’s still better than dressing like Stranger Things Eleven .

Let your child be who he wants to be

Parents: Let your child wear whatever they want, no matter how weird it may be (unless it’s offensive).

Making whatever costumes your child asks for is one of the greatest joys of motherhood. My wife made the following outfits for our son: Atari Adventure Square, Toxic Waste Barrel, Castle Crashers Hattie Hattington, and Tomb Raider Lara Croft. For some years, however, he preferred store-bought suits, and we love that too. The main thing is to let the child choose. Don’t make them accessorize your costume if they’re over three years old, and for heaven’s sake, don’t let them dress up anything even remotely sexy.

What to do if you have a costume day at work

The only time you don’t need to wear a suit for a costume event is when your job has a day of dressing up. If you find it uncomfortable to dress in a suit at work, don’t think about it twice. If you do decide to wear a costume to work, remember that it is still your job, even on Halloween, so avoid sexy or potentially controversial costumes.

A few words about sexy costumes

When the vanity of “sexy version X” is so played out that costume makers are selling sexy mustard suits , it will be easy to see that this has just been played out. But on the other hand, being able to freely have sex in public once a year is an important aspect of Halloween for some people, and who wants to stop it? Everyone needs to let a strange flag fly sometimes. (But first, you should read the very good tips from Lifehacker Senior Cooking Editor Claire Lower on how to make a sexy costume right .)

Store-bought costumes are beautiful

Obviously, making your own costume is cooler than getting pre-packaged on Amazon. After all, Halloween is all about personal expression. But unless you’re a creative person, there’s nothing wrong with store-bought Halloween costumes. They’re simple and they say, “I didn’t want to get myself into any trouble, so here’s some crap I bought for Spirit Halloween along the way.” If you are like that, good. Who wants to get themselves into trouble?

But if you don’t want to sound boring, consider renting a suit. Depending on where you live, you can rent an elaborate costume for the competition winners at a reasonable cost. Then you can bring it back on November 1st and not have to worry about what to do with the onscreen-accurate Deadpool costume hanging in your closet.

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